We have an ever increasing list of books to share with married couples and a whole list we give them about marital intimacy when we catch up after they have been married for 6 months. This one is definitely going near the top of the list, it’s been promoted to one of my top three books on sex in marriage.
Patricia Weerakoon has done married couples a great favour with this book. She is open, honest, straight to the point, up to date, and has no qualms dealing with many of the sex issues that face those who are married. At the same time, it is well and firmly grounded in the truths of the gospel and how God’s view of sex should shape our lives. Her overarching idea is that marriage is a public, outward looking commitment which is enhanced and strengthened by a healthy, honest and strong sex life.
She covers various stages of sexuality in marriage, starting with the engagement period, moving to the honeymoon and early years, the main years of marriage and its potential strains (children, tiredness, etc) and then with a frank and open look at sex in the senior years. In doing so Weerakoon has provided a resource for couples to last many, many years.
The book is broken into 3 parts:
- A theology of biblical sexology – how God’s views sex, how sin has marred it, and how it can be redeemed for God’s glory
- Understanding your body – helpful basics on sexual organs and response for men and women
- Sex and the life cycle – various chapters on different life stages and some issues raised within them.
All of this is very helpful and will provide good information for couples who are engaged or newly married, as well as extra information for those who have been married for some time.
However, I thought the best part of the book was Appendices 2 & 3. Here there are some practical exercises for couples who are struggling.
Appendix 2 is a detailed up to 9-week program to help couples for whom sex is a struggle and concern to try to work towards a better intimate life. Appendix 3 is a sheet to fill out and share with each other which addresses how we respond to each other and how things could be better.
These are brilliant resources. As anyone who is married can attest, talking about sex with your spouse can be difficult at times. When things are not great ‘in the bedroom’ that conversation is even harder. Yet, the thought of going to a therapist or counsellor for such private matters does not appeal to many. In addition as Christians, this is an area where secular counselling often just does not fit the bill. I know of a few professional Christian sex therapists in Sydney, yet I know of none in Adelaide; which leaves Christian couples in many places unsure of where to turn. These appendices could be a great resource. Sort of like a counselling session without having to actually go to a counsellor. Even if things are good in your marriage, these exercises could be of great benefit.
A great book for marrieds to help make sure that intimacy stays a strong part of your life together.