tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post5678444708609524539..comments2023-11-09T07:13:39.461+10:30Comments on Musings: Shepherding a Child's HeartWendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11235980969755979085noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-867425459172983272014-07-04T18:53:57.590+09:302014-07-04T18:53:57.590+09:30Thanks Jean. I may well try out the Paul Tripp on...Thanks Jean. I may well try out the Paul Tripp one, I have really enjoyed some of his other books.<br /><br />Thanks!Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11235980969755979085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-24888028107580272142014-06-28T07:40:25.850+09:302014-06-28T07:40:25.850+09:30Just discovered this old post of yours via Deb! An...Just discovered this old post of yours via Deb! And can I say, I agree with the reservations about this book. Here are mine:<br />- it's legalistic, one-size-fits-all, you have to do it this way, or else<br />- it misuses Proverbs, failing to read it as wisdom literature<br />- I, too, have big problems with the "circle of blessing" idea - not very gospel-centred<br />- it criticises all other discipline methods as appealing to a child's baser motives (whereas avoidance of punishment doesn't??)<br />- to focus every discipline situation on the heart - "let's have a long conversation about your motives now" - is neither realistic nor helpful. Sometimes you do just need to train a child's external behaviour.<br /><br />The most helpful thing about this book?<br />- the focus on the heart and communication.<br /><br />His brother Paul Tripp's "Age of opportunity", about parenting teens, is a much better book.<br /><br />That's it from me! :)Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01538502318975037711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-88067326933045785372010-03-05T14:17:34.052+10:302010-03-05T14:17:34.052+10:30Thanks for all your comments - here was I thinking...Thanks for all your comments - here was I thinking I was going out on a limb, now I know others agree with me! Gives me more confidence in my own reading of it.<br /><br />Thanks,<br />WendyWendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11235980969755979085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-86675411121408489772010-03-05T13:00:50.603+10:302010-03-05T13:00:50.603+10:30Hi Wendy - I read this book many years ago when my...Hi Wendy - I read this book many years ago when my kids were toddlers. I found it unhelpful and couldn't understand why others had recommended it to me. It actually convinced me that I SHOULDN'T use smacking as a discipline strategy because I was never going to be in that calm, rational state that would make it OK! <br /><br />I also find books that tell me there is a right way of parenting very irritating. When my kids were younger, I was desperate for advice, but when the strategies didn't work with my children, I felt like I had failed. Especially if a strategy was specifically designated as 'Christian' then I felt even worse! I didn't fully understand at the time, that all kids are different - as are all parents!<br /><br />Your comments about Proverbs are helpful. Many Proverbs are cited in parenting books as commands so it good to be reminded of their place in the Bible.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17557633180012575687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-27955668373507150372010-02-24T01:18:13.964+10:302010-02-24T01:18:13.964+10:30Hi Wendy,
I just picked up this book and read the...Hi Wendy,<br /><br />I just picked up this book and read the preface, forward and intro last night!<br /><br />I'm interested to hear your thoughts on it and definately agree that one should not claim they have the perfect interpretation of God's word. Keeping this in mind, I've already been impacted on a comment he makes in his preface about making sure your children understand where their sin comes from and how it affects their behaviour (rather than just trying to mould good behaviour in them).<br /><br />As for smacking - I was smacked as a child, but they were for fairly large offences which I never did again. Dad got out his belt, had us over his knee and gave us a couple of good ones. I think it was especially good for my older brother (who was particularly naughty - like making me put my thumb on a hot cigarette lighter from the car). I hate to think what state i'd be in if Dad hadn't sorted that out!!! :-)<br /><br />Having said that, my Dad wasn't a godly man and my husband and I have yet to come to a decision about punishment for our son (he's only just 1).Natalienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-14740364370784018332010-02-23T19:57:00.122+10:302010-02-23T19:57:00.122+10:30I've read it, and I thought pretty much exactl...I've read it, and I thought pretty much exactly what you've said! I;ve found that the majority of christian parenting books (that I;ve come across anyway) are really just secular parenting books with a few bible verses thrown in, which I think is pretty sad. <br /><br />I really liked the fact that Tripp isn't so much concerned with behaviour as with what's going on in the heart, and thought he had some really challenging and helpful things to say on that. Since reading his book I often think about the fact that I mustn't discipline my kids for my own convenience / preference or to look like I'm doing the right thing to other people. <br /><br />His "circle of blessing" bothered me as it doesn't seem to line up too well with what the Bible says (unless I;m missing something). I also found him immensely impractical - I felt like he might change his views on a few things if he had to be a stay at home mum for a few months! <br /><br />I also really disliked that he doesn't allow room for personality differences and other life factors. His idea that if you are not in control of your emotions you can just go off somewhere and pray until you feel better then come and smack your kids for their disobedience is pretty dangerous advice for people with real anger management issues or PND for eg. I'm not sure what exactly he thinks the unsupervised, naughty kids would be getting up to in mum's absence either! <br /><br />Although I agree that his discipline = smacking approach is not a correct (or helpful) interpretation of scripture, I did find his critique of other discipline methods really helpful, especially as they are methods that other "christian" books seem to accept from secular behaviour management without question. I get really tired of books which complain about how barbaric smacking is and then advocate other practices that could be used in a really unhelpful way as well. <br /><br />On the whole I thought it was a book really worth reading, so long as you take what he says with a grain of salt.Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16104524922038629718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-76719717963718391402010-02-22T21:19:23.788+10:302010-02-22T21:19:23.788+10:30Hi Wendy,
I haven't read this myself. I'v...Hi Wendy,<br /><br />I haven't read this myself. I've heard/read really positive stuff about it generally but your first two concerns mirror the question marks I had. Still planning to read it (one day!), but it's useful to hear I'm not the only one. <br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Becmattnbechttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01885771993409495143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2416089578031996468.post-322156769702853612010-02-22T14:41:47.335+10:302010-02-22T14:41:47.335+10:30Hi Wendy,
I haven't read the book, I should s...Hi Wendy,<br /><br />I haven't read the book, I should say that up front, but I had a bit of an epiphany with parenting books last year regarding the "one size fits all" thing. I was browsing through a different book that claimed if you followed the prescribed formula to a tee then you would have a new child by Friday. (You may now know which book I am talking about!) Well, I knew that the prescribed technique absolutely and unequivocally would not work with one our boys. <br /><br />Which always takes me back to Christopher Greeen of "Toddler Taming" who says many times through his books, "If you do x most of the time then your child will display the the desired y behaviour most of the time." The only book I have read with real expectations of real (non robotic) children and their never 100% consistent parents. So while I continue to dip into parenting books (and there is value in doing so) I tend to be suspicious of parenting books that make the big (and sometimes dogmatic) one size fits all/foolproof claims.Meredithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11797493488173742152noreply@blogger.com