for men only

for men only, Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn

Last year I did a series on the book for women only, by Shaunti Feldhahn. I though it was a very helpful book giving insight for women about the man they love. It addressed the way men think and respond to us as women, focusing on the relationship between a husband and wife.

Husband and I have now gotten around to reading for men only and we both though it was just as helpful. It helps to explain women (generally of course), but has observations and insight that many men will find helpful. The topics generally match those in for women only, but explain the female perspective to the male reader. These include:

• that she has an underlying insecurity about the steadfastness of his love, which means she needs him to reassure her of his love.
• how she thinks - like a computer with lots of windows open and running - many often with feeling attached to them. Sometimes she cannot control which thoughts dominate over other ones
• she wants emotional security much more than financial security, although few men truly believe this
• she often really does just want him to listen, not fix it
• if her desire for sex is less that his, it is likely nothing to do with him, but rather how she is made. That is, it is not because she doesn't find him desirable.
• she needs to know he thinks she's beautiful and has eyes only for her

Reading it from a female perspective, I thought it had some good points.  Husband found it helpful to clarify some things I have been trying to explain for years.

I think these books would be good reading for any couple. But you have to be willing to talk about the issues raised. No point deciding 'all women' or 'all men' are like this if you or your spouse aren't. As we read both books, what we were really interested in was the answer to 'is this true for you?'

Worth reading, especially in those early years of marriage, when you are really are still trying to figure each other out!