The reading recommendations I received recently
have all paid off – I have discovered some great books. This
is yet another to add to the list.
Subtitled: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Contentment, Dillow addresses the issue many
women face – finding true contentment.
We live in a world that tells us we cannot be content, and we also live
with our own worries, greed and small view of life that prevent us finding true
fulfilment in Christ.
Dillow starts with her own story and struggle
towards contentment, emphasising that “true contentment is separate from our circumstances. Contentment is a state of the heart, not a
state of affairs” (p13). A lack of
contentment comes from thinking we can ‘help God out’ and do a better job than
he can: “When we take over and try to control what happens, we take our focus
of the One who is in control and put our eyes on our circumstances” (p16)
I found this a helpful introduction. It was then somewhat surprising when the next
4 chapters dealt with various situations: content in circumstances, content to
be me, content with my role and content in my relationships. All of these were helpful though and addressed
issues many women have in finding contentment.
Then she dealt with three barriers to
contentment: greed, lack of purpose and worry.
This was where I found the book had real strength. For greed, she addressed real issues over
money and whether we truly think what we have belongs to God and is a gift from
God. Practically she looked at credit card debt,
seasonal greed (eg. do you always spend too much at Christmas?) and the trap of
desiring the temporal rather than the eternal.
I found the chapter on purpose particularly
challenging. We are to be women of
purpose with clear idea of where we are going and why. I appreciated the reminder that “children
are your platform, not your purpose” (p112).
She gave a few examples of women who had defined their life purpose,
either by writing a statement of faith, adopting a bible verse which spells out
their goals, or writing a prayer to that effect. What worked for me was the challenge to think
about who you want to be at age 80. Do
you want to be a woman of faith, prayer, godliness, contentment, etc at that
age? Well, from now to then, in God’s
grace, is the path to there. I have
been working on this idea for myself and have come up with something that works
for me.
The third barrier was anxiety. She is clear she is not talking about
clinical anxiety, but the day to day worries about what might happen. How anxiety drives us from present day to weary
calculation of condition that might never arrive, and how worry is destructive
for it changes nothing except the worrier. As
someone who constantly battles worry about what might happen, this was a very helpful
warning chapter.
At this point, the book reached the core of
what I was expecting in the first chapter – faith is the foundation we
need. Faith is rooted in God’s sovereign,
wise and loving character, and faith is based on God’s word not our feelings. Trusting in God and who He is is where our
true contentment comes from.
She finishes with chapters on how to trust
God with the ‘what ifs’ (which can lead to anxiety), the ‘if only’s’ (which can
lead to anger) and the ‘whys’. I quite
liked the observation:
“I am here (1) by God’s appointment, (2) in
his keeping, (3) under his training, (4) for his time.” (quoting Andrew Murray,
p181)
It’s solid and bible based, yet with an openness
and emotional vulnerability that draws you in. You
could read it with a group, and the edition I had included an extensive
bible study guide. It would also be a good companion read to Compared to Her, which comes at contentment
from another angle. I found it a very useful book.
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