Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia

Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia, John Dunlop, MD (Crossway, 2017)

What a helpful, wise and compassionate book this is. 

John Dunlop writes with decades of experience as a geriatrician, personal experience of the dementia of three of his and his wife’s parents, and his own longstanding Christian faith.

“Over the years as I have been confronted with dementia, I have failed to recognise any purpose for it, yet I believe it is my responsibility to search out what God’s reason may be. This book is my attempt to explore God’s possible purposes in allowing this horrible disease. But even when I do not fully understand, I have learned I can still trust him.“ (p. 16)

The overarching message is that all people are made in the image of God, and therefore possess inherent dignity and worth. God does not have a gradation of his image: “Human dignity is equally as true of the Nobel Laureate as of the most severe dementia sufferer who is totally dependent on others.” (p. 24) There is great value in the fact that people with dementia still experience feeling and are capable of relationships.

“The experience of dementia can help teach us what our true value is, and embracing it may make the prospect of dementia less threatening and fearful.” (pp. 15-16)

Dunlop explains the facts of dementia: its various types, how diagnosis is made and when it should be made, what some treatment options are, and when to consider medical care directives.

He describes what it feels like for the person with dementia, and then the experience of being a caregiver, acknowledging “the patient is not the only victim of this dreadful disease; caregivers are just as much, if not more, affected by it.” He doesn’t shy away from or avoid the challenges that many face.

Dunlop then considers what he believes is the heart of the issue: “honouring God in and through the tragedy of dementia”. These aspects include:

• recognising the things that God values - such as people, feelings, relationships, and the present moment. 
• respecting the dignity of those with dementia - with our time and energy, respecting their autonomy as much as possible, preserving their dignity, and entering their world. 
• meeting the physical, social, emotional and spiritual needs of those with dementia, as well as their carers. 
• how the church should respond. Importantly the church must teach the gospel, be honest that we all will suffer and what it means to be fully human. Obviously serving and caring for those with dementia and their carers should be high on the list, particularly spiritual needs. 

One particular comment of Dunlop’s struck me:

“Allow me to share with you one of my dreams: picture a local church taking time to commission a caregiver to the ministry to which God has called them. We commission our missionaries, our pastors, and our Sunday School teachers. How about our caregivers?” (p. 150)

He wants us all to grow through the experience of dementia - growth in prayer life for all as they lament, ask, give thanks, and trust God. There can be growth for those with dementia, for caregivers, for the church and for our wider community as we seek to care for, love, and honour those who live with this difficult and heart-wrenching disease.

Dunlop finishes by practically addressing end of life issues, and then leads the reader to the promises of God and life eternal, where there will be no more dementia, no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain.

This is an openly Christian book, offering hope and solace to those to those who already cling to the promises of God, both now and in the life to come. As such, it will have very real value for those in our churches who are affected by dementia. I think it could be given to every person (and their caregivers) with a dementia diagnosis, as a way of reaching out and beginning the process of support and care, recognising the challenges that lie ahead.