Respectable Sins - Where do we go from here ? (Ch 21)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 21 - Where do we go from here?

This concluding chapter draws the threads together:

we need to be honest and humble enough to to admit our subtle sins in order to experience the love that comes through the forgiveness of those sins. But we must also face them in order to deal with them ... The first step in dealing with any sin to acknowledge it and repent in one' attitude toward it... (p178-9)

Bridges recommends we look over the list of sins in the previous chapters and ask God to open our eyes to sins we have been tolerating or have even refused to acknowledge. "There is no substitute for honest confession of our sin as the first step in dealing with it" (p180)

And remember, that we must always view our sin in the light of the gospel and that,

our progressive sanctification - that is, our putting off sin and putting on Christlikeness - rests on two foundation stones: the righteousness of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. Always look to Christ and His perfect righteousness for your standing and your acceptableness to God. Remember, if you are united to Christ, God sees you clothes in His perfect righteousness. And always look to the Holy Spirit to enable you to deal with sin in your life and to produce in you the fruit if the Spirit. (p181)

I wonder which 'acceptable sins' have struck you the most in this series?

I think I am going to keep one main bible verse in mind as I try to deal with the respectable sin in my life:

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Some things to think about:

1. Which of your 'acceptable sins' challenge you the most?
2. Remind yourself that you are loved by God and saved by his Son, and therefore you can flee from sin.
3. Ask others to help keep you accountable as you flee from 'acceptable sins'.
   

That the end of this series - hope you have enjoyed it and been challenged by it, as I have.

Respectable Sins - Worldliness (Ch 20)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 20 - Worldliness

Bridges uses two bible passages to help define our idea of worldliness:

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:15-16)

... those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. (1 Cor 7:31)

So Bridges goes on to give his definition of worldliness:

being attached to, engrossed in, or preoccupied with the things of this temporal life ... worldliness means accepting the values, mores, and practices of the nice but unbelieving, society around us without discerning whether or not those values, mores, and practices are biblical. (p166)

Bridges turns his attention to 3 main areas:

1. Money - pointing to the increasing lack of generosity among Christians, as well as the desire to buy houses, clothing and accessories with the same abandon as the average unbeliever - Bridges asks the pointed question of whether we are 1. stingy and 2. too attracted too the things of this world? He ponders whether a return to the concept of tithing would at least help in this. Reflecting on Paul words to the Corinthians:

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. (2 Cor 8:9)

The way we choose to use our money is a reflection of how much we truly value Jesus' gift of his life to us.

2. Immorality - how do we tolerate immorality? Bridges looks at two ways. Firstly, by vicarious immorality:

Do we secretly enjoy reading about the immorality of other people whose sexual misconduct is reported in our newspapers and weekly news magazines?...If we go to movies or watch television programs knowing that sexually explicit sins will be shown or read novels knowing that such scenes will be described, we are engaging in vicarious immorality.

This is a very helpful point. Most shows on TV these days are such rubbish , they hardly need to take up the small amounts of free time that we do have.

Secondly, the area of immodest dress. Women can be careful not to try to attract the eyes of men in lustful ways, and men need to be careful not to look. Like Bridges, I am astonished at what some women, including Christian women wear - and what they obviously believe is appropriate. (I will look at this again soon in the coming month, when I turn to the next book on my list...)

3. Idolatry - things such as our career, political and cultural issues, or sport. The political and cultural issues made me think a bit - while there are certainly some of these issues that we want to uphold (eg. preservation of life), what about environmentalism? Do we sometimes let other agendas take primacy over the gospel? And what about sport - how many people choose to miss church on grand final weekend (for eg)?

So, says Bridges?

How, then, can we deal with our tendencies towards worldliness? It is not by determining that will not be worldly but by committing ourselves to becoming more godly. We need to grow in our relationship with Him and begin to view all aspects of life through the lens of his glory ... We need an increased affection for God that will expel from our hearts our affections for the things of this world. (p175, emphasis mine)

Some things to think about:

1. Are you generous with your money? If not, why not? What do you spend your money on instead?
2. Do you struggle with 'vicarious immorality'? Do you need to change your reading or viewing habits as a result?
3. Do you dress modestly (whether you are male or female)? Do you avoid looking at those who are immodestly dressed?
4. What are your idols on earth?
5. Do you need to commit again to becoming more godly, seeking God and him alone?

On Friday: Chapter 21 - Where do we go from here?

Respectable Sins - Sins of the Tongue (Ch 19)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 19 - Sins of the Tongue

In some ways I was surprised by the the shortness of this chapter (only ~4 pages). Everything Bridges said made sense, I had just expected more of it. He acknowledges that when he told people what this book was about (acceptable or respectable sins), people would generally say 'oh like gossip?'

As Bridges makes clear though, sins of the tongue, while including gossip,

must also include lying, slander, critical speech (even when true), harsh words, insults, sarcasm and ridicule. In fact, we would have to say that any speech that tends to tear down another person - either someone we are talking about or someone we are talking to - is sinful speech (p159)

Bridges refers to Ephesians 4:29 as the verse that has impacted him the most on this issue:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Eph 4:29)

Jesus speaking to the Pharisees in Matthew 12:34 says "You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."

This means that although we speak of sins of the tongue, our real problem is our heart. Behind all of our gossip, slander, critical speech, insults, and sarcasm is our sinful heart. The tongue is only the instruments that reveals what's in our hearts. (p162)

So, while this chapter may have been short, it still definitely gave me some things to think about. I found myself challenged in three areas (well, more probably, but I'll keep it short!)

1. Do I speak the best words I can to my children? I do use harsh words, I do use angry words and I do use an annoyed tone. How am I building them up with this? I'm not. Yes, they need teaching and correction, but they need it with love and patience not irritability and impatience.
   
2. Do I speak the best words I can to my spouse or closest friends about others? I think sometimes in marriage (or close friendships) we can excuse the comments we make about other people, knowing that our spouse understands our need to 'vent' and that we would never dream of telling anyone else the same things. But we are not being loving, we should not even be speaking (or thinking!) such things. Our reaction to things is always our own responsibility. And as spouses (or close friends) we should we willing to challenge our loved ones about the way they speak of others.
   
3. I have been challenged a number of times recently to reconsider the Australian culture of always 'bagging people out': the rude comments we make only to friends to show affection. I do not excel at this sport, but I certainly have been known to contribute. It is very unhelpful to people from other cultures because it is not a type of humour they are used to. But, I also think it is not helpful for Australians either - we are notoriously bad at being open and honest with each other, and we rarely give or receive honest compliments. So perhaps the next time we think of 'bagging someone out', let's try to turn it into a helpful comment instead.

I'll finish with another verse that Bridges quoted from, which each of us could easily turn into our own personal prayer:

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Some things to think about:

1. Which sins of the tongue do you struggle with - gossip, slander, harsh words, sarcasm, ridicule, insults...? If you are uncertain, ask someone close to you for their opinion!
   
2. Do you need to seek forgiveness from someone for the words you have spoken to them?
3. How are you going to change the way you speak?
   

On Monday: Chapter 20 - Worldliness

Respectable Sins - Envy, Jealousy and Related Sins (Ch 18)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 18 - Envy, Jealousy, and Related Sins

These ugly sins, which we all struggle with at times, are helpfully discussed in this chapter.

As for definitions:

Envy is the painful and oftentimes resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else. Sometimes we want that same advantage leading to the further sin of covetousness...Usually, there are two conditions that tempt us to envy. First, we tend to envy those with whom we most closely identify. Second, we tend to envy in them the areas we value most. (p149)

Jealousy is usually defined as intolerance of rivalry... Sinful jealousy occurs...when we are afraid someone is going to become equal or even superior to us. (p151)

Bridges does acknowledge that some forms of jealousy are acceptable - eg. God is a jealous God, wanting us to serve only Him. We are to be jealous for our spouses, and ensure no one else is trying to win them.

I wonder if is OK to be envious of piety?? Would it be OK to envy someone's commitment to bible reading or their prayer life? Perhaps only if such a thing forces us to look honestly at our own lives and then to be inspired to try harder? What do you think?

So then, what do we do with our sinful envy or jealousy?

1. Turn to the sovereignty of God. "We must remind ourselves that He determines not only what abilities we have but also the degree of those abilities and the blessing He will bestow on their use" (p152)
2. Remember that all believers are one body in Christ. We should be honouring and applauding those amongst who are doing well for we all all part of the one body.
3. When we are envious or jealous we lose sight of what God might be doing in our lives. "Admittedly, some assignments garner more human recognition than others, but all are important in the plan of God." (p153)

I would want to add to this, that we need to honestly and critically analyse the reason for our envy or jealousy.

• is it because we would like the status or recognition that someone else gets? We must remember that our status comes only though Jesus and his death for us. We are already saved by grace, why do we need any other status?
• is it because we would like to have the money that someone else has? Our true wealth comes from the price Jesus paid to save us, so why do we rely on wealth today for our assurance?*

Bridges does acknowledge that some forms of jealousy are acceptable - eg. God is a jealous God, wanting us to serve only Him. We are to be jealous for our spouses and ensure no one else is trying to win them.

I wonder if is OK to be envious of piety?? Would it be OK to envy someone's commitment to bible reading or their prayer life? Perhaps only if such a thing forces us to look honestly at our own lives and then to be inspired to try harder? What do you think?


Then, Bridges turns to two others areas which are related to these:

competitiveness - the urge to always win or be the top person in whatever our field of endeavor is...Competitiveness is basically an expression of selfishness. It's the urge to win at someone else's expense. It is certainly not loving our neighbor as ourselves.

His suggestion to this that instead of competing everyone should do their best, using passages such as Col 3:23 (Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men) to support it. He uses children as an example, so when we talk to them about competition we should not ask "Did we win?" but "Did we do our best?" I would want to take this one step further - I agree we should work at things to the best of our ability, but I would have liked to see this clarified as to what 'our best' is. Our best must be: in a loving way, being kind, gentle, honest, etc. Our best cannot only be to the best of our physical ability (for eg), but the best of our attitude and mindset as well.

Finally, he briefly addresses the sin of being controlling - seeking to control others to our advantage or to get what we want.


Some bible verses for ponder:

A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones. (Prov 14:30)

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James 3:14-16)

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming,
but who can stand before jealousy? (Prov 27:4)

Things to think about:

1. What are you envious or jealous of? Try to figure out what really drives your envy? Status? Money?
2. What will help you to throw off envy and jealousy and turn to God for your acceptance?
3. In what areas are you competitive?
4. Can you ask a trusted friend or family memeber how they feel you are going in these areas?
   

On Friday: Chapter 19 - Sins of the Tongue


* I have listening to some Tim Keller talks on Preaching to the Heart recently, he talks about these issues in some detail. Review to come in time!

Respectable Sins - Judgmentalism (Ch 17)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 17 - Judgmentalism

The sin of judgmentalism is one of the most subtle of our "respectable sins" because it is often practiced under the guise of being zealous for what is right...there are myriads of opinions of everything from theology to conduct to lifestyle and politics...but we usually assume our opinion is correct. That's where our trouble with judgmentalism begins. We equate our opinions with truth. (p141)

In this chapter Bridges looks at how Christians can elevate their convictions to biblical truth. Some examples he gives include: appropriate songs in church, appropriate dress, the decision to abstain from alcohol, etc, etc.

My point here is that it doesn't matter which side of an issue we are on. It is easy to become judgmental toward anyone whose opinions are different from ours. And then we hide our judgmentalism under the cloak of Christian convictions. (p144)

In Romans, Paul addresses the issues of a difference of opinion over which the Romans have been judgmental of each other - both the issues of whether to treat certain days as sacred and the issue of eating meat or only vegetables. Paul gives his opinion but he warns them about judging each other for the decisions they have made.

You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11 It is written:
"`As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
`every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.'" 12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. (Rom 14:10-13)

Bridges makes it clear that he is the not saying we should never question the practices and beliefs of others - for if their lifestyle or conduct is clearly out of line with Scripture, we need to address it. However, in doing so, we can still sin if we do so with a self-righteous attitude or harshness. We must not degenerate into character assassination.

He then deals with those who are often judgmental - what he calls a critical spirit - those who look for and find fault with everything. We all know people like this, and I think some parents or spouses can certainly act this way - nothing is ever good enough for them - they are grumblers.

At the end of the chapter he suggests that the best way forward is to hold our own convictions with humility. This reminded me of what he said in chapter 11 on pride:

I'm not suggesting that we should not seek to know the truths of Scripture and develop doctrinal convictions about what the Scriptures teach, I am saying that we should hold our convictions in humility, realizing that many godly and theologically capable people hold other convictions. (p92-3)

On matters that are not crucial to salvation, this is surely the only way forward: to respect one another in love, be willing to talk through our differences, be open to correction and always willing to change. On those matters that we do hold as crucial, we must still love those with whom we disagree and treat them with respect.


Some things to think about:

1. What things do you tend to be judgemental about towards others?
2. Are they things which you consider to be crucial to the gospel or are you willing to reconsider your position?
3. Do you act in love towards those with a different position?
4. Do you need to repent of your judgmentalism?

Next time: Chapter 18 - Envy, Jealousy and Related Sins

Respectable Sins - Anger and it's weeds (Ch 15-16)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 15 - Anger and Chapter 16 - The Weeds of Anger

There is a lot in these two chapters. All worth thinking through though. Chapter 15 looks at anger itself and then chapter 16 looks at other things that can result from our anger. So, Bridges says anger is defined as

a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism. I would add that it's often accompanied by sinful emotions, words and actions hurtful to those who are the objects of our anger. (p121)

Bridges makes the point that no one causes us to be angry - it is our choice to become angry. I have posted about this before, from the perspective of being an angry mummy. I have read a few things on anger this year, and each time it has been helpful to acknowledge that I can choose my reaction to things, whether I get calm or angry.

Bridges addresses this point too:

How can we handle our anger is a God-honouring way? First we have to recognise and acknowledge our anger and the sinfulness of it...Then we need to ask ourselves why we become angry. Was it because of our pride or selfishness or some idol of the heart we are protecting. If so, we need to repent not only of our anger but also of our pride, selfishness or idolatry. (p125)

Secondly, we turn to words of God to remind of how we should be, eg:

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Eph 4:32)

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Col 3:12-14)

Third, we must ask for forgiveness from those to whom we have shown anger.

Fourth, we hand over to God the occasion of our anger, trusting God that he is in control of all things, even unjust situations that spark us to anger.

Bridges also spends some time talking about anger towards God. I found this section quite interesting, he says

It is never okay to be angry at God. Anger is a moral judgment, and in the case of God, it accuses Him of wrongdoing. It accuses God of sinning against us by neglecting us or in some way treating us unfairly. (p127)

This made me think. I have heard it said (as you probably have) that's it OK to be angry at God, better to be angry at him and tell him, than to turn away from him in anger. I guess what that idea is actually focusing on is our attitude, rather than our anger - it is saying that we need to be able to come to God in all our circumstances, rather than going elsewhere. However, I can see Bridges' point here - anger at God does suggest that we do not trust him and that we think we deserve a better deal on earth than we are currently getting.

Chapter 16 moves on to look at the weeds of anger, the other things that spring from it, he includes:

• resentment - anger held on to, often internalized
  
• bitterness - resentment that has grown into ongoing animosity
• enmity and hostility - a higher level of animosity than bitterness, often expressed openly
• holding a grudge - planning, although usually not following through, revenge
• strife - open conflict or turmoil, often with groups rather than individuals

So, Bridges asks "how can we deal with our anger so so that it does not being to sprout these noxious weeds?" (p133)

1. We must look to the sovereignty of God - he allows what happens to us to happen, it may be for our growth, or to prepare us for something else.

2. We should pray that God will enable us to grow in love

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Pet 4:8)

[love] is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Cor 13:5b)

3. Learn to forgive as God has forgiven you

it cost God to forgive us. It cost Him the death of His Son. No price can be put on that death, but God paid it so He could forgive each of us of the enormous spiritual debt we owed to Him. (p138)

Some things to think about:

1. When do you struggle with anger?
   
2. Are you able to pray to God about your anger and ask forgiveness of those to whom you have shown anger?
3. Do you have anger towards God? Has this chapter made you think about that differently?
4. Which 'weeds' of anger are you cultivating? What are you going to do in order to change?

Next: Chapter 17 - Judgmentalism

Respectable Sins - Impatience and Irritability (Ch 14)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges
Chapter 14 - Impatience and Irritability

Bridges has linked these two together based on his definitions of them:

I am going to define impatience as a strong sense of annoyance at the (usually) unintentional faults and failures of other. This impatience is often expressed verbally in a way that tends to humiliate the person (or persons) who is the object of the impatience. (p116)

While impatience is a strong sense of annoyance or exasperation, irritability, as I define it, describes the frequency of impatience, or the ease with which a person can become impatient over the slightest provocation. The person who easily and frequently becomes impatient is an irritable person. (p118)

One of his examples of impatience which struck a chord with me was our response as parents over the slow response to the training of children. I have been heard to say, "How many times do I have to say...?", "When are you going to listen...?' These responses do not help in parenting, they only serve to frustrate us, and humiliate and exasperate our children.

Other examples he gives include our impatience at other drivers, waiting in queues, the slowness of service in a restaurant.

Instead we must heed the instruction from the bible:

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Eph 4:1b-2)

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Col 3:12-14)

In thinking about whether we are irritable, he asks:

Are you upset with someone or some circumstance a lot of the time? If so, you may well be an irritable person. (p118)

I have certainly been an irritable person at times, and I struggle with it more in the mornings. For some reasons, I find the mornings harder than other times of the day - is it because the noise level starts high and remains that way? I don't know. However, whatever it is, it is no excuse. Husband has had to lovingly, but honestly, show me how I am irritable in the mornings and how it can colour the whole day.

Sometimes I lie in bed in the morning and tell myself "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it". That, preferably combined with prayer, can change the whole tone of the morning, and hence the whole day.

Bridges ends the chapter with some advice for coping if you are at the receiving end of impatience. In the end, we use Jesus' words and actions as our guide and be willing to 'turn the other cheek'.


Some things to think about:

1. What things make you impatient? Are you impatient enough to be called 'irritable'?
2. What can you do to change your response to situations in which you are impatient?
3. Ask your loved ones what you are impatient about and how you show it.
4. Consider what you are modelling to others/your children when you are an impatient driver, shopper, etc. How could you model Christ better?

On Monday: Ch 15 - Anger and Ch 16 - The Weeds of Anger

Respectable Sins - Lack of Self-Control (Ch 13)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges
Chapter 13 - Lack of Self Control

Starting with the example of Solomon, Bridges illustrates how a lack of self-control can destroy everything.

Like a city whose walls are broken down
is a man who lacks self-control. (Prov 25:28)

Ironically Solomon himself wrote this proverb, yet he had a distinct lack of self-control in his love for women, which resulted in his heart turning away from God.

Bridges believes that self-control is one virtue that has received little conscious attention from Christians, for while we have boundaries for 'obvious sins', we pretty much operate within those boundaries however we like, which can in turn open us up to other sins. He helpfully defines self-control as

a governance or prudent control of one's desires, cravings, impulses, emotions, and passions. It is saying no when we should say no. It is moderation in legitimate desires and activities, and absolute restraint in areas that are clearly sinful. It would, for example, involve moderation in watching television and absolute restraint in viewing Internet pornography...

Biblical self-control...covers every area of life and requires and unceasing control with the passions of the flesh that wage war against our souls...We might say that self-control is not control by oneself through one's own willpower but rather control of oneself through the power of the Holy Spirit. (p110-1)

Bridges chooses three areas where he believes Christians often fail in self-control:

1. Eating and drinking - he is not talking about those who are overweight, but those continually give in to the desire for certain foods or drinks. The person who drinks 10 cans of cola a day, or the person who must have ice-cream every day, etc. It is the "tendency to indulge our desires so that they control us instead of us controlling those desires" (p112). I am tempted to think of those who claim they cannot get through the day without coffee.

2. Temper - the person who is short-tempered and who is easily angered. He notes that anger alone is usually sin, but the tendency to be easily angered is also a sin of self-control. James says:

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

3. Personal finances - this includes those who are in debt, spending beyond their means and also those with money who indulge themselves with whatever they desire. It is worth saying that if you are spending beyond your means, especially with spending that you cannot control (eg. compulsive shopping, gambling) - you need to seek professional help.

I heard a sermon about this topic once, and two of the points of application have stayed with me:
- do not buy the best or the worst of anything - the best is unnecessary and the worst is likely to cost more as it will not last - be wise and prudent.
- as much as you spend on leisure or hobbies, give the same to Christian causes or charity. So you can enjoy the money God has given you - when you spend $350 on a Wii, also give $350 away. Or when you enjoy a meal out, pay for someone to do the same.


As I thought more about this chapter, again I thought he really only scratched the surface. Of course, whole books could be written about self-control. Also, as he did point out, a lack of self-control leads to many other sins, so a lack a self-control with our tongues will be addressed in chapter 19 and so on.

However, here are some other areas of our lives where we might see a lack of self-control:

• what we read - do we fill our minds with trashy romance novels or gossip magazines, or do we choose to read things which grow us in godliness? Do we insist of reading the newspaper each day but never do to same with our bible?
• what we watch - mostly every show on television these days is an example of gross immorality, even more so in reality shows, so why even watch them? And why are so many Christians seemingly making it their goal to own entire series of television shows? Surely our time and money could be better spent.
• how much time we give to hobbies & sports - do you follow the football or cricket so avidly that you ignore your family? Do you quilt so often that you neglect your children?
• the things that we can hide as being good. eg. a desire to lose weight, the pull of continuous exercise - we can hide these under the guise of being self-controlled, but sometimes they can actually become a trap themselves.

I personally struggle with self-control in a number of ways - mostly around how I spend my time:

• I would love to spend more time on the computer, writing, reading etc. However, it is unhelpful if is drags me away from my family or things that need to be done at home
• When I read novels I have no self-control - I read every free moment I get & I ignore the kids. I have had to stop reading novels except when we are on holidays. If I could keep it to a time in the day when I can take a break, I think that would be fine, but I seem unable to do this - so I have to just stop reading fiction for most of the year. Sad, but true.
• We realised a few years ago that we were eating a lot of chips, we would sit down at the end of the day and have a bowl of chips together. After a while, we realised it was completely unnecessary but also that we were starting to always expect to eat them. In the end, we just stopped buying them and chips are now a treat in our house. Although, Husband will be quick to point out that I still have my 2 pieces of dark chocolate each day with a cup of tea, and should probably give that up too, as I now seem to 'need' it!

Some things to think about:

1. What areas do you struggle with self-control?
2. How far do you go out of your way to meet your desires? Am you willing to say no to them?
3. What am you modelling to others when you choose to indulge this desire?
4. What does the way you spend your time or money say about your priorities?
5. What can you change to exercise more self-control in these areas?

On Friday: Chapter 14 - Impatience and Irritability

Respectable Sins - Selfishness (Ch 12)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 12 - Selfishness

Bridges addressed four areas of selfishness which he thinks are common to believers:

1. Selfishness with our interests - the things that we like, are interested in and want to talk about. How much do we talk about ourselves and the things that interest us? How often are we willing to listen to others and hear about them? It's another indication of self-centredness.

Paul's words in Philippians can guide us here:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Phil 2:3-4)

2. Selfishness with our time - we all live our lives feeling like there isn't enough time, not enough to do what we want to get done, let alone including helping others. However, we must not fall into the trap our guarding our time so jealously, that we refuse to serve others, or strengthen relationships.

I can certainly struggle with this one - I value my time and I can be very protective of the free time that I have. It's OK to have time to ourselves to recharge and refresh, but I need to be careful not to keep desiring more and more time to myself, to fulfill my wishes and desires. It has been a lesson for me in the past few years to use some of the free time I have to spend with people, rather than 'getting things done'.

3. Selfishness with our money - we are not generous with our money. As a whole, we "are selfish with our money and relatively indifferent to the physical and material needs and of people less fortunate than us." (p105)

A report that received a lot of attention when it was published in Australia in 2004, showed how Australians spend more on their pets each year than they do on foreign aid. We just don't tend to care about issues that do not affect us personally. Yet the bible calls us to care for others in need:

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:17-18)

4. Inconsiderateness - the person who does not think about the impact of their actions on others. This can be expressed in numerous ways - being so noisy we impact other people, being inconsiderate to shop assistants, etc. Just as we we want to cultivate a habit of being thankful to God in everything, we also want to express our thanks and gratitude for those around us on earth.

Bridges points out that that Jesus is the greatest example of unselfishness we have - the Lord of all humbled himself so that we might become rich:

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. (2 Cor 8:9)

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7 but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death--
even death on a cross! (Phil 2:5-8)

Bridges says that the people most able to spot selfishness in us are our family, so we should ask them how we are selfish and be prepared to listen and change.


Some things to think about:

1. In which of these areas do you struggle with selfishness - your interests, your time, your money or in being inconsiderate?
2. Do you need to change your priorities and expectations regarding how you view 'your' money, time, etc?
   
3. How can you be more generous with your time, money or attitudes this week?

on Monday: Chapter 13 - Lack of self-control

Respectable Sins - Pride (Ch 11)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 11 - Pride

Bridges warned at the end of the last chapter that "the sins we look at from here on will probably be more 'ugly' that the ones we've examined so far". And so, he turns to pride. He focuses on 4 expressions of pride that are special temptations to believers. I will look at each one briefly.

1. Pride of moral self-righteousness - which is very easy to fall into today considering the society in which we live.

However, we must seek an attitude of humility based on the truth "there but for the grace of God go I". If we are able to live morally upright lives, it is only because God's grace has acted upon us:

Rather than feeling morally superior to those who practice the flagrant sins we condemn, we ought to feel deeply grateful that God by His grace has kept us from, or perhaps rescued us from, such a lifestyle. (p91)

2. Pride of correct doctrine - the belief that my doctrinal beliefs are correct and anyone who does not hold them is theologically inferior. Boy do you ever encounter this one (and quite possibly display it too!) at bible college. Paul warns the Corinthians about this in regard to food "We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." (1 Cor 8:1b).

We must instead strive to hold our convictions with a spirit of true humility:

I'm not suggesting that we should not seek to know the truths of Scripture and develop doctrinal convictions about what the Scriptures teach, I am saying that we should hold our convictions in humility, realizing that many godly and theologically capable people hold other convictions. (p92-3)

3. Pride of achievement - the belief that all we have achieved we did on our own, with no acknowledgement that God gave us the mental capacity, chance of education, tenacity or desire to try. He gave a good example of this: people that extol their children's achievements in the annual Christmas letter eg. John got 1st class honours in his law degree, Susie trekked the Himalayas and Adam won the grand final for his team!! His point is that we must be careful not to sing the praises of our children without praising God for giving them the abilities to do so. I was slightly more circumspect on this - perhaps don't sing the praises of your children at all??! You could just say: John finished his degree and enjoyed what he learnt, Susie did even more hiking this year and Adam had another fun year of football. Just a thought.

Another aspect of this is the desire for recognition - like the people that give lots of money to a building fund, so their name can go on the plaque in a prominent position. Maybe as Christians we are not quite so crass - although we do quite like to be thanked publicly for a job well done. Our praise should come from God though, knowing that we have served him as we ought, rather than others singing our praises.

4. The pride of an independent spirit - here he includes both a resistance to authority (especially spiritual authority) and an unteachable attitude. These particular areas were suggested to Bridges by ministers who work amongst students and young adults:

When we are young, we tend to think we know everything. Or as one friend expressed it, "We don't know how much we don't know." (p97)

Here he refers to Hebrews 13:17:

Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

We must all strive to be teachable and willing to learn. Not only that, but willing to hear the wisdom of those who have lived longer than us and experienced more.


As Bridges closes the chapter, he takes us to Isaiah 66:2b

This is the one I esteem:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and trembles at my word.

I found this a helpful chapter, I can fall into pride in all of these areas. It's important to realise that's what is it - pride, and to repent of it and work, with God's help, to change.


Some things to think about:

1. Which of these areas are you tempted to be proud: your moral standing, your doctrine, your achievements and/or your independence?
2. What do you need to do to let go of this pride?

On Friday: Chapter 12 - Selfishness

Respectable Sins: Unthankfulness (Ch 10)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges
Chapter 10 - Unthankfulness

Bridges starts this chapter asking the question - do we ever thank God, purely for our salvation?

Yet how often do we give thanks for our salvation? Have you stopped today to give thanks to God for delivering you from the domain of darkness and transferring you to the kingdom of his Son? And if you have given thanks, was it in a mere nominal way, much like some people give thanks at a meal, or was it an expression of heartfelt gratitude for what God has done for you in Christ?

The truth is, our whole lives should be lives of continual thanksgiving... every breath we draw is a gift from God. Everything we are and everything we have is a gift from Him. (p80)

Even the skills we have, that we may have studied years for, that is all still a gift from God. Bridges points us to Deut 8 and reminds us to heed the same warning given to Israel:

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. 11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12 Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13 and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God ... 17 You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." 18 But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today. (Deut 8:10-14, 17-18)

Bridges says that in every aspect of our lives we should be thanking God - the our homes and their furnishings, for our jobs, our studies, the food on the table. We should follow the example of Paul:

always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Eph 5:20*)

Thankfully, Bridges also goes on to address the issue that really gives us pause: Are we to give God thanks when the circumstances do not turn out as we had hoped? And he answers yes, again using the words of Paul:

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess 5:16-18*, emphasis mine)

We need to trust in God (a common theme in these chapters!) in all circumstances, he is still using them for his own good (see Rom 8, esp v 28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose)

So in situations that do not turn out the way we hoped, we are to give God thanks that He will use the situation in some way to develop our Christian character. We don't need to speculate as to how He might use it, for His ways are often mysterious and beyond our understanding. So by faith in the promise of God in Romans 8:28-29, we obey the command of 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to give thanks in all circumstances.

In the midst of all this, we can also cling to the promise of Rom 8:38-39 that nothing can separate us from the love of God.


I wonder how these truths can affect us daily?
We probably do thank God privately for the blessings of this life and as Christians we find that easy to do (when we think of it). But is it part of your daily speech to be thankful of God with others? Do you thank God openly with your children?

What are some ways we can speak more thankfully? Here are some ideas:

• Find the positive rather than the negative. I have had to work at this with my children, so when Husband is out at church at night, or away on a camp - instead of saying "isn't it a shame Dad is not here?", I try to say "what a privilege Dad has to be able to tell people about Jesus tonight!" OR with other people, instead of complaining how early Mr 6 rises (and truly, it is early), I am now trying to say "we are one day closer to everyone sleeping in". Finding words to express the positive can also change your own heart.
• Find a way to express your thankfulness to God in conversation that is natural for you. I don't generally use the term 'blessed', although I truly feel blessed. I tend to say 'I am very thankful' - even that has taken time for me to be comfortable with. I was forced to think about this (on a somewhat superficial level) last year after an incident with a falling tool-box!
• Find ways of encouraging others to be thankful rather than helping them descend into bitterness. Let's help each other to thank God, both for his blessings, and the trials we face, knowing we are being moulded into the image of Christ.

I do not want to suggest though that we trivialise the real struggles people face in life. I fully agreed with everything Bridges said in this chapter, but again his examples seemed a little simplistic to me. It must be much harder to be truly thankful when life is hard, painful or full of grief. However, time and time again we hear stories of faithful saints who were truly thankful to God, in the midst of their pain and suffering. In the end, all we can do is to keep trusting in our faithful and true God, who loves and cares for us, and who at the end of time, will bring us home to his eternal kingdom.




* These are the verses I will try to learn from this chapter

On Monday: Chapter 11 - Pride

Respectable Sins - Discontentment (Ch 9)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 9 - Discontentment

Bridges clarifies what he mean by discontentment:

Discontentment...most often arises from ongoing and unchanging circumstances that we can do nothing about. (p71)

Straight away he makes a careful proviso: there is a place for legitimate discontentment, perhaps with our own spiritual growth or with the injustices and evils in society. I would add also, the discontentment of not being home in heaven yet. However, "the subject of this chapter is a sinful discontentment that negatively affects our relationship with God." (p71)

Bridges notes that:

the most frequent warnings in Scripture against discontentment concern money and possessions, but in this chapter, I want to address what is perhaps a more common form of discontentment among committed Christians, an attitude than may be triggered by unchanging circumstances that are trials to our faith. (p71)

He includes both serious and some more trivial examples of things which can be examples of such unchanging circumstances: continual poor health, singleness well into mid-life or beyond, unhappy marriage, an unfulfilling or low-paying job, or whatever it is that causes discontentment for you.

Bridges points to Psalm 139:16:

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

and encourages us, that

[the] truth that God has ordained all our days, with all their ups and downs, their blessings and disappointments, can help us (and does help me) deal with the circumstances that tempt us to be discontent. Whatever your circumstances, and however difficult they may be, the truth is that they are ordained by God for you as part of His overall plan for your life. God does nothing, or allows nothing, without a purpose. And His purposes, however mysterious and inscrutable they may be to us, are always for His glory and our ultimate good. (p73-4)

Bridges also points out the risk of resignation, for even though resigned we can still harbour smouldering resentment. He claims that only in acceptance can we find peace,

Acceptance means that you accept your circumstances from God, trusting that He unerringly knows what is best for you and that in His love, He purposes only that which is best. Having then reached a state of acceptance, you can ask God to let you use your difficult circumstances to glorify Him. In this way you have moved from the attitude of a victim to an attitude of stewardship. You begin to ask, "God, how can I use [this circumstance] to serve You and glorify You?" (p75)

He clearly states there is a recurring theme in this chapter and the previous one (on anxiety and frustration):

That theme is the importance of a firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness of God in all the circumstances of our lives. Whether those circumstances are short-term or long-term, our ability to respond to them in a God-honouring and God-pleasing manner depends on our ability and willingness to bring these truths to bear on them. And we must do this by faith... (p76)

It was tempting to just write up this chapter and to try to remain a little disconnected from it. But, that would not be entirely honest. I have struggled with contentment this year. I have had discontentment with a physical situation - I have had a lot of pain in my body this year. It has prevented me from doing many of the things that I feel are 'my job' as wife, mother and manager of the household. In so doing, I have been led by God to again realise that 'who I am' is much more important that 'what I do'. I must seek contentment in where God has placed me for the moment, and trust that he knows what he is doing, even though I do not. (I don't want to overplay this either, many people deal with much bigger things for much longer timeframes).

At the moment, I feel God is helping me to find contentment in this situation, but I know that I can quickly slide back into frustration, anxiety and discontentment. I don't think it is a co-incidence that at the same time that these problems were worsening, I felt an increasing desire to read God's word more and more regularly and to pray to Him more often (not often about the pain though!). God does work all these things out for his own purposes, even if I do not know what they are. As I talked about in the post last Tuesday from Habakkuk, we can trust God even if we don't know the reasons why or the answer to 'how long?'

I guess these are lessons we must learn and re-learn again as we live the lives God has ordained for us.

Some of the bible verses I will focus on are:

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:16)

Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised. (Job 1:21)

Some things to think about:

1. What are sources of discontentment for you?
2. How hard do you find it to move from discontentment, to acceptance, and then to glorifying God? What help do you need to be able to do so?



On Friday: Ch 10 - Unthankfulness

Another comment on anxiety (ch 8)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 8 - Anxiety and Frustration

After posting about this chapter on Friday - a good friend raised an important issue regarding anxiety:

What about the person who suffers from severe and debilitating anxiety? Anxiety is a medical condition. It is very unhelpful to suggest that it is a sin.

I see exactly what this person means, and I am ashamed to admit that this issue did not cross my mind as I read the chapter and subsequently wrote the post. For someone who struggles with severe anxiety, which is also often closely linked with depression, adding more guilt by labelling their situation as sinful is unhelpful at best and ungodly at worst. If I offended anyone by my comments on this chapter, I sincerely apologise - I do not want to add to the burdens you already feel.

Having re-read the chapter again, my suspicion is that Bridges is not suggesting this either - but I do think that it would have been helpful to distinguish between general anxiety (that many people feel at various times) and anxiety disorders. I feel certain he is talking about general anxiety. However, I agree with my friend - it would have been helpful for that to have been clearer.

An article downloaded from the Beyond Blue website includes some of the following information on anxiety:

What is an anxiety disorder?
We all feel anxious from time to time however, for some people, these anxious feelings are overwhelming and cannot be brought under control easily. An anxiety disorder is more than just feeling stressed – it’s a serious condition that makes it hard for the person to cope from day to day.

How common are anxiety disorders?
Anxiety disorders are very common. One in four people will experience an anxiety disorder at some stage in their lives.

Types of anxiety disorders
There is a range of anxiety disorders. The six most common disorders are:
1. Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) which involves the person feeling anxious and worried on most days over six months or more.
2. Specific Phobia
3. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
4. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
5. Panic Disorder
6. Social Phobia.

Anxiety disorders are common, but the sooner you get help, the sooner you can learn to control these conditions, so they don’t control you.

Summarised from Anxiety Disorders Information card, downloadable from this link.

If you are someone who is struggling with a level of anxiety that affects your daily life, there are a number of places to go to start to get help:

• Beyond Blue Website - anxiety link
• Reach Out website - aimed at 14-25 year olds
• ABC Health and Wellbeing Website - Anxiety Disorders Fact File

All of these sites have some guidelines to help diagnose anxiety disorders - but you should also see a doctor.


I really welcome comments that point out areas that I have missed or been unhelpful. Thanks.

Respectable Sins - Anxiety & Frustration (Ch 8)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 8 - Anxiety and Frustration

In this chapter Bridges addresses both anxiety and frustration.

Bridges states that anxiety is sin for two reasons:

1. It is a distrust of God. "If I give way to anxiety, I am, in effect, believing that God does not care for me and that He will not take care of me in the particular circumstance that triggers my anxiety of the moment" (p64)

2. It is a lack of acceptance of God's providence in our lives, "we tend to focus on the immediate causes of our anxiety rather than remembering that those immediate causes are under the sovereign control of God." (p64)

He says that we should pray about the situations that cause us anxiety:

it is appropriate to pray for relief and for deliverance from whatever circumstance is triggering our anxiety, but we should always do so with an attitude of acceptance of whatever God's providential will may be and a confidence that, whatever the outcome, God's will is better than our plans or desires (p67)

Bridges briefly looks at worry as well, categorising "worry with more long-term difficult or painful circumstances for which there appear to be no resolution" (p67). His method is still the same though, trust in God and his providential care.

His treatment of frustration is similarly brief, "frustration usually involves being upset or even angry and whatever or whoever is blocking our plans" (p69).

I must say I found this chapter a little too simplistic. Most of the examples in it (eg. planes running late and computers not printing) were a little trite and they downplayed the serious worries, anxieties and frustrations that some people face (although he did refer to one serious type of worry - the long-term care of disabled children).

He finished the chapter with this:

Both anxiety and frustration are sins. They are not to be taken lightly or brushed off as common reactions we have to difficult events in a fallen world. Can you picture Jesus ever being anxious or frustrated? And whatever in our lives is not like Jesus is sin. (p70)

As I read this, I thought - yes, I think they are situations where we see Jesus anxious or frustrated. Surely in the garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus prayed 'for this cup to be taken from me', there is anxiety about what he know he is about to face. He does rely on God's will ('yet not my will, but yours') - however, he was certainly intensely troubled about what he was about to face. (interestingly Bridges did refer to this and Jesus' being anxious on p67, so in some ways has contradicted himself anyway). And there are times when Jesus seems frustrated at people's lack of faith or understanding (Luke 9:41 "O unbelieving and perverse generation,"Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you and put up with you?").

I guess in the end what matters is our response to things, and mostly our responses of anxiety and frustration are because we are not in control of everything and we would really prefer to be so. Even if I found the chapter a little simplistic, I don't think Bridges is giving a simplistic solution. He is right in saying that in all areas of our lives, we must turn to God in prayer and through his word and be willing to let him work according to his will.

And for those of us for whom anxiety is a prominent feature of our personality (and it certainly can be mine), I think it is helpful to ask ourselves why we are anxious: Is it because we want to be in control? Do we not really trust God and his will? Why not? We don't want to be too simple in a statement of "Let go and let God", however for many of us who struggle with anxiety, we probably need to go further towards that sentiment than we have been previously willing to do so.

Some bible verses to remember:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7) *

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Phil 4:6) *

So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:31-34)

Some things to think about:
1. What causes anxiety and/or frustration for you?
2. Will you pray to God about these things and allow him to work them out according to his will?
3. Can you trust him enough to do so? What prevents you from trusting God?



On Monday: Chapter 9 - Discontentment.


Later note: Please look here to see some further notes regarding anxiety made after this post.


* these will be the two I will try to learn from this chapter

Respectable Sins - Ungodliness (Ch 7)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 7 - Ungodliness

Now Bridges turns to the first of 14 chapters dealing with so called respectable sins. The first he chooses to tackle is ungodliness.

I first turned to this chapter thinking, what exactly does he mean by ungodliness? Well, he is very clear:

Ungodliness may be defined as living one's everyday life with little or no thought of God, or of God's will, or of God's glory, or of one's dependence on God. (p54)

He stresses that there is a difference between wickedness and ungodliness - you can be a perfectly pleasant person, but still be ungodly.

Now the sad fact is that many of us who are believers tend to live our daily lives with little or no thought of God. We may even read our Bibles and pray for a few minutes at the beginning of each day, but then we go out into the day's activities and basically live as though God doesn't exist. We seldom think of our dependence on God or our responsibility to Him. We might go for hours with no thought of God at all. In that sense we are hardly different from our nice, decent, but unbelieving neighbor. God is not at all in his thoughts and is seldom in ours. (p54)

Bridges then examines what it means to do all to the glory of God:

1. I desire that everything I do be pleasing to God. "I want God to be pleased with the way I go about the ordinary activities of my day" (p57)

2. I desire than all my activities of an ordinary day will honour God before other people. In Matthew 5:16 Jesus says, "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Bridges identifies another mark of ungodliness as having only a meagre desire to have a personal relationship with God:

A person man be moral and upright, or even busy in Christian service, yet have little or no desire to develop an intimate relationship with God...For the godly person, God is the center and focal point of his or her life...However, such a God-centredness can only be developed in the context of an ever growing intimate relationship with God. (p58)

So, then asks Bridges - what do we do?

Our goal in the pursuit of godliness should be to grow more in our conscious awareness that every moment of our lives is lived in the presence of God; that we are responsible to Him and dependent on Him. This goal would include a growing desire to please Him and glorify Him in the most ordinary activities of life. (p60)

I found this chapter a very helpful starting point in thinking about specific sins. Ungodliness overarches all sin - for if we were living our lives fully aware of God's presence, how many other sins would we take more care to control? It is our desire to ignore God and pretend he is not there, that enables us to continue to sin in abandon.

Some of the bible verses that he referred to that I found helpful are:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Cor 10:31)*

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men (Col 3:23)*

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. 10 And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God (Col 1:9-10)

O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water. (Psalm 63:1)

Some things to think about:
1. Did Bridges' definition of ungodliness resonate with you?
2. How do you think you are going at keeping God at the centre all of the time?
3. Are you encouraged to spend more time strengthening your personal relationship with God? What do you need to change to enable that to happen?



On Friday: Ch 8 - Anxiety and frustration


* these will be the two I will try to learn from this chapter

All bible references here and throughout this blog are NIV.

Respectable Sins - ch 6

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 6 - Directions for Dealing with Sins

Having read through chapters 1 - 5, looking at how sin is so prevalent and serious in our lives and that Jesus' death has won our forgiveness, Bridges now takes us through a suggested method for dealing with our sins. I will outline his steps in some detail:

1. We should always address our sin in the context of the gospel. We must remember that "our sins are forgiven and we are accepted as righteous by God because of both the sinless life and sin-bearing death of our Lord Jesus Christ" (p48)

I wonder, does this truth resonate with you? Do you truly desire to change because of what God has already done in Christ through you? Or are you more tempted to rely only on God's grace, taking his forgiveness a little for granted and being less inclined to change? This reminds me of Romans 6:

What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning, so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?...
In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal bodies so that you obey its evil desires...For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace. (Rom 6:1-2, 11-12, 14)

2. We must learn to rely on the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. We must cultivate an attitude of continual dependence on the Holy Spirit.

3. Recognise our responsibility to pursue all practical steps for dealing with our sins. This must be balanced with relying on the Holy Spirit.

Are you more likely to reply on the Spirit or on your own power?

4. Identify specific areas of sin. Be open and be honest. As we read the chapters over coming weeks, some are sure to resonate with you more than others. Be prepared to face them.

5. Memorise and apply appropriate scriptures. As Psalm 119:11 says: "I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you".

I have always liked the idea of memorising verses, but have never been very good at it. Perhaps I can try a little harder through this book!

6. Cultivate the practice of prayer. We must be willing to pray both in a planned way about our sins and struggles, but also spontaneously when we are in a situation that triggers sin.

I was a little surprised here that he does not use the language of confession. He talks about acknowledging our sins in prayer, which in giving the benefit of the doubt may be what he means. But I wonder if a list of bible verses to encourage one to confess sin, followed by those which show God's forgiveness would also be appropriate. Some that spring to mind would be Psalm 51:1-5:

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

and Romans 3:10-18

10 As it is written:
"There is no one righteous, not even one;
11 there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
12 All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one."
13 "Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit."
"The poison of vipers is on their lips."
14 "Their mouths are full of cursing and
bitterness."
15 "Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16 ruin and misery mark their ways,
17 and the way of peace they do not know."
18 "There is no fear of God before their
eyes."

Of course, it is appropriate after such confession of sin, to rejoice in the forgiveness of God. But surely it is still appropriate to confess.

7. Involve one or a few other believers in our struggles. A relationship that has mutual vulnerability and accountability to one another with openness and prayer, can be of great help in combating sin.

There is real value in cultivating a relationship where this type of honesty can occur. They are hard to do, but well worth it.


Things to think about:
1. Do you agree with these steps?
2. Which of these steps would you be tempted to skip? Why?


On Monday, Chapter 7 - Ungodliness