Thursday, September 30, 2010


Husband & I headed out to the movies on Monday night for a treat and saw Inception.

I was a little cautious, I had agreed to see it but was not sure I would like it.

However, it was excellent. It's based on a very clever idea. I do like movies with an interesting premise and ones that make you think. It has been compared to the Matrix and I can see why. I think I liked it better.

I'm not going to say what is was about because I liked going it knowing nothing. However, I can say that there was no swearing, no nudity, and while there was violence it was pretty much bloodless and wasn't graphic. Unusual in itself these days!

So, if you feel like a night of escapism you might well enjoy this.

Reasons for a support network (3)

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

Our first two reasons to be part of a support network are:
1. For mentoring and modelling
2. For understanding

Our third is:

3. For encouragement & accountability

(I do realise all these three reasons are interrelated in a number of ways!)

There are time when we all need to be encouraged (or we need to be the encourager) – to persevere when times are tough. To keep being faithful. To keep trusting in God.

Accountability is a crucial aspect of a support group and should not be ignored. Very few will have the courage to ask the minister’s wife how her personal bible reading is going, whether she is honouring God with her speech, whether she is being godly as she parents her children, what her struggles are and where her sinful tendencies lie. They are probably even less likely to ask the missionary’s wife or their lecturer’s wife!

Yet we need to be asked. Sometimes we long for someone to ask, so that we can be honest. But at the same time, we also choose not to share sometimes don’t we? We don’t open up in our bible study group, because it doesn’t seem completely appropriate. We are very careful who we share with, and to what depth.* The ability to be open and honest with someone, in a way that includes accountability, is a great thing.

Next few posts: Our various support networks

* It’s worth asking the question though – do we hold back appropriately or do we use it as an excuse not to disclose? A friend of mine commented “I do wonder whether this should be challenged, and whether we should try to open up more than we actually do. After all, we are called to share our lives with one another within the body of Christ, and to be an example to one another in how we work through issues of sin. I do wonder whether sometimes we inappropriately use 'being a ministry wife' as a way of getting out of being appropriately open with others...”. I’d love to know what you think!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Reasons for a support network (2)

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

The first reason to be part of a support network is for mentoring and modelling.

The second is:

2. For understanding.

If you are a ministry wife, other ministry wives are likely to understand certain parts of your life in a way others will not. The same applies for missionary wives, theological lecturer’s wives, student minister wives, ministry trainee wives, etc.

It can be incredibly heartening to have someone understand what you are going through. Whether it’s a joy or a struggle – having someone who has done it already or is also doing it now means you are not alone – others understand.

Part of this can also help us to keep our perspective. Your husband may be out most nights, but perhaps he can be home for dinner, bathtime & bedtime, the way other husbands cannot. He can usually be pretty flexible with his work hours, meaning if you need him home, he can often make it happen. You do have a public role and you may feel like you are in a fishbowl, but chances are you are also prayed for and loved by your community. The understanding and perspective provided by others in similar circumstances can help us to find the positives when we need to, but also acknowledge the struggles when that is helpful. Someone who understands can also remind us of what we already know or what we have forgotten.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Reasons for a support network (1)

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

Why be part of a support network?

In some ways the answer seems obvious – you either want to get support or you want to provide support (and hopefully both!)

There are three reasons I think we should want to be involved in supporting one another in ministry:

Here is the first:

1. For mentoring and modelling.

Titus 2 tells us that Titus was to teach:
...the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2:3-5).
We have to learn & be taught these things – they do not come naturally!

1 Tim 3:11 speaks more specifically of the wives of leaders:
In the same way, their wives* are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
(*wives of deacons, but could be applied to all church leaders, and probably even more broadly)

When we read passages about wives, or about leaders and their wives, we know that it matters how we live. Yet at various times we all struggle with how we are to live the Christian life, let alone the ‘full-time ministry life’ (however it looks!). We need women to model ourselves on, women who can teach us and who we can learn from. Likewise, we know that other women are likely modelling themselves on us (scary thought that is!). Rather than fear such a thing, we can acknowledge it and use it helpfully.

A support network, whether made of 2 individuals or a group of people provides an opportunity to:
  • model yourself on someone (older &/or wiser) as they live their life of ministry;
  • mentor those who are younger &/or less experienced than you; and
  • to do both of these with peers.

Monday, September 27, 2010

A new series - Support Networks

This series was originally on In Tandem, a ministry wives blog.

Support Networks

Being married to a man in full-time ministry has many privileges and many opportunities. We have the unique chance to be very involved in people’s lives, to be asked for advice, to be a sounding-board, to support those in hard times and to encourage people to persevere. We can share the bible with unbelievers, support our husbands in their roles, and raise our children to know and love Jesus.

At the same time, because so much is often asked of us, we can start to wonder:
  • What about me?
  • What about when I need help?
  • Who do I talk to about my concerns, my questions of doubt, my struggles with sin, my marriage?

And, we can look at other wives in ministry around us and think:
  • How is she really going?
  • What struggles does she have which she can’t or doesn’t share with others?
  • Is anyone asking her how she is loving & serving God at the moment?

This new series is about Support Networks. It’s going to be relevant for all of us, whether we have support around us or not, and whether we feel we need them or not.

As we go through this series, I hope that we can keep in mind 2 aspects:
  1. Ourselves – what kind of support we need to sustain our ministry
  2. Others – very few of us operate in a ministry vacuum, separated from any other people in ministry. If you feel well-supported, think about those around you who might not be. If you wish you had been better supported in your first years of ministry, consider finding someone who is in that position now and help them.

Next few posts: Reasons for a Support Network

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I have finally got around to adding a "subscribe in a reader" link and a "subscribe via email" link on musings. So, if you haven't already set up such a thing yourself - hopefully this will make it a bit easier. I just tried it and it seems to work, but if you have any problems let me know.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Modern Family

We have been watching this show on Channel 10 since it started a few months ago. It's great. It's a very funny look at modern family life. The patriarch of the family, Jay, has 2 adult children - Claire (married to Phil) with 3 kids; and Mitchell, who is gay and with his partner Cameron has adopted a baby girl from Vietnam. Jay has remarried the younger Colombian Gloria and now has a 11-year old step-son Manny.

While is sounds a little convoluted, it isn't. The characters are funny, but also very likeable. Every episode also has something positive to say about family - how much they love each other, care for each other, look out for each other, etc.

It doesn't have the same negative aspects of a show like Everybody Loves Raymond, where Raymond in the end was a pretty useless husband and father who couldn't stand up to his parents. This has much more positive relationships, while also being realistic.

Every episode I laugh out loud. Husband also enjoys it and has decided it is one of the few TV shows he would be willing to watch more than once (high praise indeed!)