Raising tech-healthy humans

Raising Tech-Healthy Humans, Daniel Sih (2023)

As a parent, how do you feel about technology and your kids? Do the statistics about addiction, risks of pornography or grooming, and increased anxiety in kids hooked on social media scare you?

Maybe you’re excited about the creativity technology offers—your kids design amazing things on Minecraft, or learn to code and play cooperatively with their friends. Maybe it’s a helpful extra babysitter—allowing dinner to be prepared, a bit more work to be done, or just allowing a breather for a moment.

For many parents, all of these things are true, all at the same time! We know that technology has benefits and risks, so we’re trying to figure out a way forward in this screen-saturated world. However, charting that path sometimes feels more like floundering. Questions abound around when to let a child have a phone, what boundaries are needed, how to manage screen time and so on.

Daniel Sih has written a very helpful, succinct and practical book helping parents to think through the main issues and then implement practices that promote healthy tech use. Raising Tech-Healthy Humans is aimed at parents of primary-aged children and under and is designed to be read in less than two hours. It will still have benefit for parents of younger teenagers, but many of these decisions are now being made long before that age. Sih is clear that the book is not aimed at parents whose teenagers are already addicted to their phones, although those willing to re-examine their household’s choices would likely still find much of benefit.

Sih sets the scene with three parenting philosophies that shape tech-healthy parenting. Firstly, we are raising adults, not children. So, our long-term goal is to train them for the real world, able to cope with the challenges of adult life, ‘building their character muscles for when they need them most’ (p. 6).

Secondly, we need to prioritise healthy brain development, particularly higher brain skills of thinking, processing and planning. Our lower brain systems are important for emotional responses as well as impulses and reactivity; they provide safety systems when we’re in danger (for example, the ‘flight or fight’ response). But the problem with technology is that it overstimulates the lower brain: ‘electronic media has a significant role in causing children to enter a state of hyperarousal, leading to chronic stress in the developing brain’ (p. 13). This is why kids are so grumpy when the screens turn off—they’re super-activated and full of adrenaline. This can then impede the development of higher brain function. Sih draws a distinction between passive and interactive media, which he terms ‘lean back’ or ‘lean forward’ technologies, encouraging more ‘lean back’ options, such as television. We all instinctively spot this difference— everyone’s usually satisfied at the end of an episode of Lego Masters but when you turn off Fortnite mid-game, uproar ensues!

Thirdly, Sih suggests that limits are essential and in fact, life-giving. He considers both screen time and content limits, as well as creativity with how you control or enable tech time in your home.

Next, Sih builds on these principles and offers practical strategies to set your kids up well for a lifetime of healthy tech use. He calls this the ‘STARTER’ framework:

• Start with self: consider your own tech habits and make changes where necessary.
• Take it slow when adopting tech. Sih busts the three prominent myths parents fall for regarding when to get their children various technology: safety, it will stop the nagging and that it’s educational.
• Age-appropriate tech that can be ‘graded up’ as they grow up—with suggestions about digital contracts, filtering and parenting controls.
• Regularly talk about tech and how your kids experience it—what they like, what they don’t like—and share in their interests.
• Tech-healthy rhythms are important for families, including tech-free times (especially meals, sleep and car trips).
• Encourage tech-free adventures and family time—provide a better alternative to what the screen offers.
• Rely on others: parent in community and help each other out with these issues.

Over the whole book is a strong sense of grace. We are all imperfect parents, with real struggles and real mistakes. None of us parent perfectly, and in the tech space we’re all finding our way as we raise the first generation of true digital natives. Sih is honest about his own mistakes and there is no feeling of judgment as you read it—more a sense of ‘we’re in this together; let’s do better’. Technology has brought us some great gifts—we can video chat with extended family who live far away, we can play interactive games together, we can share music playlists and grow in our appreciation for each other’s tastes. Yet we can also choose to say no and reclaim time together in person which refreshes, relaxes and restores.

The version of the book I read was a ‘Christian parenting special edition’. I suspect very little was different from the original version, besides the addition of a preface and Bible verses at the beginning of each chapter. The preface encourages us to view this issue through a more biblical lens. Tech can create a massive idol, tempting us and confronting us with our sinful desires to be in control, to be always available, to seem important, to want to impress others and to promote ourselves.

So, if you have younger children and are struggling to know how to chart a healthy family path in the tech space, Raising Tech-Healthy Humans is a great book to help you out. In addition, let’s take Sih’s advice and be communities that talk about how we use tech, how we make decisions about it, and where we struggle. Let’s walk alongside one other, as we all seek a healthy balance:

‘Let’s enjoy the best of the online world but not be diminished by too much technology, and raise a generation of healthy, faith-filled kids who love God and love others in beautiful, life-giving ways.’ (p. xv)

This review first appeared on Growing Faith. 

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. 

Move Fast and Break Things

Move Fast and Break Things, Jonathan Taplin

As I continue reading and thinking about digital technology, this book came across my radar. The title is coined from a comment by Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook “Move fast and break things. Unless you are breaking stuff, you aren’t moving fast enough”. With the subtitle “How Facebook, Google and Amazon Cornered Culture and Undermined Democracy” this book is clearly designed to grab your attention.

Jonathan Taplin worked in the music industry as tour manager for Bob Dylan and The Band, and was also a film producer for Martin Scorsese and others. He saw first-hand what free streaming and piracy did to destroy a music artist’s ability to earn money from their craft; and what the digitisation of the film industry has done for creativity and originality.

He notes the five largest firms in the firms in the world are now: Apple, Google, Microsoft, Amazon and Facebook. He traces the beginnings of the Internet which was founded on much more co-operative and creative principles that we see at work today. He looks at the libertarian value and belief systems of the men who founded Amazon, Google and Facebook and how their views shaped their company model and practice. Much of it seems to be based around the principles of “I can do it, so I will” and “Who will stop me?”

He spends time on the power of the digital monopolies, the lack of any real regulation to guide or limit their power, and the how the quality of accurate news had been eroded. He highlights the ongoing danger of non-stop data mining, where the only real benefit is for advertisers whose targets become more and more specified.

There is an element of conspiracy theory to it, but much of it also rings true; and really, it certainly feels like these digital tech companies are working in conspiracy. Amazon corners the market on book sales, pushing actual stores out of business and threatening publishers who won’t fall into line. Facebook algorithms are changing the way we view news, and ensuring we are surrounded by a group of similarly minded, homogenous ‘friends’ in our feeds. Google knows where you are almost at any time of the day, can read all your mail, tracks the places you go and what you search for and buy online. These companies have massive power in terms of market share, income, and data; and there are very little checks and balances to ensure this power is used carefully and wisely. Google’s motto “Don’t Be Evil” is a nice marketing ploy, but really, are Google the ones to judge what is evil? And at what point does the end product justify the means to how you got there?

As I read this book the phrase kept coming to mind (partially attributed to Lord Acton) “Power corrupts, but absolutely power corrupts absolutely”.

Taplin doesn’t leave you hanging at the end, he has the beginnings of a proposal for a way forward. He considers what it means to be human, and that part of that includes the sense of community. He comments on the starkness of the contrast between a shooter who killed nine parishioners of a church: “When you think that the families of the slain churchgoers were able to forgive the shooter, you can only marvel at the power of their faith. Never was the difference between between community cooperation and individual separation more starkly outlined. I’m not sure my faith would afford me that amount of grace in the face of such evil, but I am awed to see it exist in the hateful political climate we inhabit.”

After being on a Benedictine monk retreat, he was challenged that “I am not Catholic, yet I find the monks’ prescriptions to be helpful [these include prayer, work, study, hospitality and renewal], a model of how I want to live in the world. The idea of an examined life is missing in our current digital rush.” These are the only comments that Taplin makes in the whole book that have any hint at faith or belief yet he has identified something. We know our lives will be examined, and we should be examining them before the Creator of the world. What will He conclude regarding our digital lives?

He concludes that part of being human is “we need a life narrative in which we take pride in being good at a specific task, and we value the experiences we have lived through”. He thinks art is one of the ways that lays the ground for the internal condition, for moral behaviour. I agree in part. There will have been artworks, pieces of music, books and other creative expressions that have moved and challenged each of us. For those of us who are believers, the creative expressions of others can drive us closer to God. I think of certain hymns, books, and artworks that make me realise anew the mercy and grace of God and the creative power he has given his people.

Taplin finishes by proposing ways the internet could change (with legislation and regulation) to allow for proper use of artists’ work where they are paid fairly. He notes that there are many things that the digital world cannot do: “When I ask myself what it means to be human, I think that having empathy and the ability to tell stories rank high, and I am not worried that these skills will be replaced by A.I. A great artist’s ability to inspire people – especially to compel them to think and act – lies at the heart of political and cultural change. It really is the reason we tell ourselves stories”.

Taplin has included a lot of information, background and explanation throughout, and those with knowledge of economics may get a lot more out of it than I did; but it is certainly is an interesting and thought-provoking read.

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You, Tony Reinke

I was excited to spot this book in the week I was giving a seminar on digital technology. It’s a helpful addition to a growing number of books on the topic (such as Challies, Alter, Heitner and the Boswells). I loved Reinke’s last book, Lit! and so quickly devoured this offering.

Reinke asks the question “Why is the best use of my smartphone in the flourishing of my life?”, asserting he is not looking to guilt people, and that the book succeeds if you love Christ more, and fails if you hate yourself more.

He rightly asserts that our phones divulge what our hearts really want:

“The glowing screen on my phone projects into my eyes the desires and loves that live in the most abstract corners of my heart and soul, finding visible expression in pixels of images, video, and text for me to see and consume and type and share. This means that whatever happens on my smartphone, especially under the guise of anonymity, is the true expose of my heart, reflected in full colour pixels back into my eyes.” (p27)

He then moves into his 12 ways phones are changing us which include: addiction to distraction, ignoring people around us, craving approval, lost literacy, loneliness of people, becoming comfortable with secret vices, and fearing missing out. Each of these was a valid helpful point. I did struggle to see the logic of the order that he chose, and some seemed quite similar. In the conclusion, the order was explained further as a chiastic structure, which seemed an odd choice and one which would have been worth explaining up front (and would have met some of his own suggestions in Lit!, enabling the reader to see a clear structure as they dived in).

Some of his insightful comments included the reality that our technology is actually weeding out diversity:

“Our phones buffer us from diversity… [from] not only our elders, but also the impoverished, the cognitively disabled, children, the less educated, the less literate, the less cosmopolitan, and non-Westerners. In effect, our online communities render invisible the majority of the human race.” (p71)

Our desire to be affirmed:

“The sad truth is that many of us are addicted to our phones because we crave immediate approval and affirmation. The fear we feel in our hearts when we are engaged online is the impulse that drives our “highly selective self-representation.” We want to be loved and accepted by others, so we wash away our scars and defects.” (p75)

Our misled view of time and the waste of it:

“Am I entitled to feed on the fragmented trivialities online? In other words, am I entitled to spend hours every month simply browsing odd curiosities? I get the distinct impression in Scripture that the answer is no. I am not my own. I am owned by the Lord. I have been bought with a price, which means I must glorify Christ with my thumbs, my ears, my eyes and my time. And that leads me to my point: I do not have “time to kill” – I have time to redeem.” (p179-80)

I appreciated his warning about putting good works online for others to see, noting that “you have already received your reward in full” (“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” Matthew 6:1). It’s an interesting question to consider – do we show our good works online for others to approve (eg. changing our profile picture, posting a photo of the good deed); or do we just get on and do the actual service or give actual money to the cause?

Reinke has done a lot of research in this area and quotes other authors quite extensively. As such, I was surprised to find no references to Challies’ book, as many of their points are similar. I think I prefer Challies’ treatment, it is broader and his order appeals to me more. Yet, Reinke has many valuable observations and it’s a book worth reading for anyone in possession of a smartphone. He finishes with some helpful suggestions for wise smartphone usage, and the encouragement to keep thinking about the issues critically.

Which is something we should all be doing - thinking clearly, honestly and biblically about our smartphone usage, what it is doing to us and what it is doing to society at large.

Irresistible

Irresistible: Why we can’t stop checking, scrolling, clicking and watching, Adam Alter

While on the lookout for resources for a seminar on digital technology, I stumbled across this new release. Adam Alter has investigated the alarming rise of behavioural addiction and how it’s been enabled by technology:

“Half the developed world is addicted to something, and for most people that something is a behaviour. We’re hooked on our phone and email and video games and TV and work and shopping and exercise and a long list of other experiences that exist on the back of rapid technological growth and sophisticated product design.” (p317)

Alter first analyses what a behavioural addiction is, showing how easy it is to become addicted to something and the biology behind it.

The second section outlines the ingredients of behavioural addiction and therefore how you would engineer an addictive experience. These include having attainable goals, giving positive feedback (eg. flashing lights and happy faces), a sense of progress, an escalation in difficulty (eg. need to complete more ‘steps’ today) and cliff-hangers (mainly in television shows, or that next level you just ‘have’ to get to). This section illustrates clearly how easy it is to be addicted to numerous behaviours that are assisted by technology – such as binge TV watching, calorie counting, ever increasing fitness goals, gambling, shopping, and games.

He finishes with some comments on the future of behavioural addiction, suggesting that we are only on the brink of seeing how technology could enable addiction, especially considering how virtual reality is being designed. He proposes some solution, such as how to suppress habits, using distraction and removing temptation, as well as challenging designers to accept the responsibility to design technology to be more socially responsible.

He, like Devorah Heitner (Screenwise), has identified many of the current issues with technology and how we need to navigate these paths with wisdom, using caution and consideration before we dive into any and all technology. Of course, I appreciate the extra consideration that Tim Challies (The Next Story) and James & Simon Boswell (Cyber Parenting) bring with their Christian perspective. But it’s good to see secular writers tackling these topics, and raising the flags of caution from other perspectives.

Screenwise

Screenwise, Devorah Heitner

What a great book! Discovered at random at the local library, I’m so glad I picked it up. Heitner’s goal is the clear subtitle of the book: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World.

Anyone currently raising children are raising digital natives – people growing up in the digital world, connected by technology and unaware that there was any other way.  In contrast, we, their parents, are digital migrants – we can clearly recall a childhood without social media, email, a mobile phone or even a computer.   I recall welcoming our first computer into our home (I would have been about 10).  It was a very early Apple and all four of us sat around it playing family games, with no images at all, just descriptive text.   No wonder many parents feel like they are playing catch up today!

Heitner encourages all parents to be mentors to their children.  She reminds us that while our children may have tech savvy, we have wisdom. We should not mistake digital proficiency with good digital citizenship (p2). True screen wisdom is about relationships (p4). 

She encourages parents not to be threatened by the digital issues around us, but to be digitally literate ourselves and to be tech-positive, seeing the benefits of what’s available. She encourages parents to get involved with the tech our children use, helping them to ask questions of it. As a result, we had a very interesting dinner conversation about the good and potentially unhelpful things about Minecraft.  I was also able to have a similar conversation with a goddaughter about her social network apps.

One of her strongest encouragements is to use mentoring over monitoring. Don’t rely on websites, blocking devices and apps to control your children, rather teach them good digital citizenship. Show them how to write emails. Illustrate unhelpful use of texting. Show them how tone can be read wrongly from text. Ask permission before posting any photos of them. Get them to explain why they like an app. Encourage them to consider what about an app might be unhelpful. Ask them what worries them about tech use.  See if they think what their friends do online is worrying or helpful, and why.

Going through various topic areas in detail, she covers how this digital age affects family life, friendship and dating, school life, and the issue none of us ever had to deal with (unless our parents were famous) – growing up in public. These are peppered with sage advice and helpful comments, almost all common sense, but sometimes in the midst of it all we can forget! Things like – when in doubt take it offline (in relating to people), how conflict can be a spectator sport online, that distraction is a major issue now in education (something we are becoming increasingly aware of in this house), and that we must be trying to ensure any content we produce online is positive, constructive and sensitive. As a real challenge – she suggests we ask our children which of our own tech habits are their least favourites. 

This is highly recommended reading for all parents of digital natives.  To get you more interested, you might like to start with her website - http://www.raisingdigitalnatives.com

Stop the shouting

There is a very interesting commentary in The Australian newspaper this morning, from The Times "Stop the Shouting: if we don't tame Twitter, we'll face mob rule". Some excerpts are below:

"...I think communications technologies can decide the political temperature. After decades in which they generally helped moderate discourse, outside autocracies, they are now inflaming it. When blogging was all the rage a decade ago, at least there was space for nuance. Now, opinions are boiled down to a single shout. 

I use Twitter mainly to find and pass on links to articles and reports on topics that interest me. To do so, though, I have to wade through bitter feuds, walk past vicious ad-homs, jump over blatant embellishments and bump into absurd hyperbole... 

We need to find a way to tame Twitter, to fence in Facebook, to insist on net neutrality and revive moderation. To do so while respecting free speech and without handing government the power to propagandise and censor, will not be easy. But it must be attempted before the mutual shouting gets worse."

It echoes some of my own thoughts, particularly observing commentary on world events in the last few months, including our own election.

Full article is here. Apologies if you can't read it, it may be subscriber only access - I can send you a copy though if you ask.

Technology contract

As Mr 13 has started high school and became even more entrenched in technology, it was time to write down some of the principles and ideas we want him to think about and adopt.

So we developed a technology contract (see below).  Mr 13, Husband and I have all had input and it has already gone through a few revisions.  It will be revisited at least annually, if not more often.

We could also have added in bible verses to back up the points, but I was trying to keep it manageable (it's already 2 pages) and just because it's not written down doesn't mean it wasn't talked about!

It has been a good opportunity to stop and think about what we expect, and what we want him to learn, and how to teach it.  There are always new things to consider in parenting!

It has also been a prompt to remind Miss 11 and Miss 8 about our expectations, seeing one has started a private blog and both are on email.  They now also have much simpler versions.

Please note: this also does not yet include specific references to social media, our children are not yet using them. It may need updating with more specific principles at that point too.

****
TECHNOLOGY CONTRACT – Mr 13

Congratulations Mr 13 – you now have a phone and a laptop to use!

SOME PRACTICAL THINGS:

1. We own the phone and the laptop – we paid for them!
2. We will pay for you to be able to use the phone, to a certain amount. You may have to pay any excess.
3. If they are damaged or lost, you may be required to replace it.
4. We will know your passwords at all times.  Your sisters need to always know your phone password, because there are times they will need a phone.
5. You will always answer a call or text from us, as soon as you can. Never ignore us trying to contact you.  We will always try to answer your calls or texts as soon as we can.
6. Check with us before buying or downloading any music or apps.
7. If anything on a screen worries you or is inappropriate (eg. messages, pictures, websites) come and talk to us. You will not be in trouble.
8. All screens will be downstairs overnight, charging if needed.
9. “Find my iPhone” will always be activated on your iPhone, don’t ever disable it.
10. If you are out on your own, we expect you to always have the phone on you and for it always to have enough credit for phonecalls.
11. No games midweek – for schooldays, it is just a phone/laptop. You can play games on the bus, as long as you prioritise real conversations first.

THINKING A BIT MORE:

Technology is pretty cool. Your laptop has lots of power for creativity and design, and your phone is a smart phone. They can be used for many, many things – music, videos, phonecalls, texts, email, games, etc.
Above all – always remember 2 things:

• Real life is better than the digital world – enjoy the real world, real conversations and real people.
• Words and pictures have power. Be kind, honest and respectful with both.

Loving and Respecting Others

1. Always speak politely and with respect when on the phone.
2. Only call people between 8am and 8:30pm. Remember their own families and privacy. If you wouldn’t call their parents at that time, don’t call them.
3. Meal times, family times or overnight are screen-free, as are the movies, at church, when in conversation with friends, or where it would be rude or inappropriate.
4. Follow school rules regarding technology.
5. It is easy to write unwise or unkind things – stop and think before you press send.
6. Reply to text messages and emails when appropriate. Even just saying ‘thanks’ or ‘OK’ lets people know you have received it.
7. Respect other people’s privacy – do not give out their details without permission, do not forward emails/texts that are intended to be personal.

Be Wise and Careful

1. It is very easy to waste time on a screen– be careful how you use your time
   
2. Make sure you control your technology and that it does not control you
• You don’t have to answer a call straightaway (except from us – as soon as possible)
• You don’t have to respond to a text straightaway (except from us – as soon as possible)
• You don’t have to reply to an email straightaway – although it’s polite to answer emails that need answering within a day or two.
• Most replies can wait till the end of the conversation, or the end of the school day, or even until the next day
• Some messages never need to be answered or even read– eg. junk, spam, various requests (lost property, surveys) through school email.
3. You don’t have to give out your phone number or email to any person / company. You have a choice. If you feel pressured to, try and say no, or give one of Mum or Dad’s numbers/emails.
   
4. Remember – every thing you ever do or put online can be recorded forever. This includes emails, posts, tweets, photos, texts, comments, game statistics, web site browsing and time usage. All words and pictures online may be there forever: “only say it or post it if you want the entire world to have access to your message or picture for all time” (David A. Bednar). So, think very carefully how you use technology.

“The caution that marks our speech must also mark our texting, our emailing, our commenting, our blogging and our tweeting. The fact that we communicate at all should cause us to stop and consider every word. The fact that we communicate so often today and do so before so great an audience should cause us to tremble. As we communicate all day we give ourselves unending opportunity to sin with our words.” (Challies)

1. Only say things on email that you would say in person (to their face)
2. Only say things on email or online that you would say out loud with Mum and Dad in the room (or their parents).
3. Never take photos of yourself without clothes on (one day you may think this sounds fun, or someone might ask you to). Always delete any photos of others like this that you might receive. Never forward photos like this on to others.
4. Don’t look at inappropriate photos or videos on any device, and don’t share inappropriate photos or videos of yourself with others. If you encounter something inappropriate, delete it, or close it, whatever it takes. Just as importantly, make a mental note of the path that led to it to help you avoid it in the future.

***
Isn’t it cool to be growing up and getting more fun stuff! We love you and we trust you to be responsible and wise. We also know you’ll make mistakes and we will still love you and forgive you. There may be times that your technology will be taken away. There may be times when you lose it. We will work it out together.

Use all technology to glorify God and serve him and his people. Sometimes this will mean using technology wisely. Sometimes it will mean not using it at all. The rest of your life (and ours) will be spent figuring out how to do this well. We love you very much.

[Signed by all three of us]

Cyber Parenting

Cyber Parenting: Raising your kids in an online world, James & Simone Boswell

I really liked this book: it is helpful, practical and biblical. The Boswells have done parents of today’s children a great benefit. Being Australian it fits perfectly with our context, although as it deals with an online world, it is appropriate for everywhere.

The most grounding part of this book is the reminder again and again that as parents today we are facing nothing new. Although some technology, social media, gaming, etc are new for our generation, the issues they raise are as old as time. The Boswells take us back to the words of Ecclesiastes, showing that all the issues with technology today are the same issues of the heart that people have faced for thousands of years – be they wisdom, self-control, where we find our value and what we make our idols. I found this incredibly reassuring, for at times I can feel a bit panicky about parenting children in our online world. This helped me to remember that all issues are heart issues and God knows about them all.

It is divided into four parts:

1. The basics: introducing the impact of technology and some basic technological details for those that need it. Here and throughout the book they emphasise again and again it is about the heart. “Parenting is more than setting up eternal rules. Parenting is about getting to the heart of our children, training them in right living, investing in their lives and helping them to understand a biblical world view” (p30).

2. A look at the basics of parenting – how we want to teach our children about the Lord and his word, and train them in godliness and character. With this in mind, they talk about a biblical world view and then many areas of character we want to train our children in: such as honesty, integrity, patience, etiquette, contentment and self-control. While all of these are applied to the world of technology it is clear that these are characteristics we want to raise our children in, no matter whether they are online or offline. This section then moves to consider issues such as trust and responsibility, teaching wise choices and developing maturity. All of this is very helpful.

3. Then they move to address the four main areas of the online world: social networking (with an emphasis on Facebook), cyber bullying, gaming and pornography. This was full of wisdom and practical suggestions, and is essential reading for parents of children who are already online or soon to be.

4. The final section deals with the practical areas of managing your networks, security, passwords and parenting controls. These are the tips to help you set up a safe online environment. Of course, these go alongside the active role of teaching in parenting, yet are useful things to have in place in the home and on various devices.

In the end, this book is an excellent reminder that as parents we are called to parent with wisdom and grace, to be involved and aware, and to deal with issues of the heart. We should have practical boundaries and measures in place, but not rely on them to do the job of parenting for us.

I will definitely continue to refer to this one in years to come as we navigate the online world with our children.

You can see a little bit of it online here.

The Next Story - conclusions

Final Thoughts

In the epilogue, Challies talks about one area he has been challenged in each of the 6 topics he has covered. It was helpful and instructive to hear how he has made decisions in light of his life, which is prominent online. I’ll leave you to peruse it at your leisure.

However, it’s time for the rubber to hit the road for me. This book has challenged me in every area he covered. I live a lot of my life online, interacting through mediated methods and drowning at times in a sea of information. I like my online life, yet at times feel trapped by it, only too aware how little privacy I retain.

Here are some of the things I have come to realise:

• I have tended to prefer mediated communication. It’s easier to send an email than to make a phone call. To catch up with someone in person often takes 4-8 weeks to find a free spot in my diary. However, I am more now committed to less mediated forms of communication. I hate texting, so I avoid that already. But now I am trying to call people to talk, rather than emailing. What I have found? Most things are quicker in person or on the phone. Emailing takes a number of bounces back and forth, checking details, clarifying comments, etc. A phone call is often faster, more efficient and I feel I have actually talked to the person properly.

• I am easily distracted. I check messages when they come in, and my emails and Facebook page regularly – much more regularly that necessary. Not having a paid job means I do not have to be in constant communication with people. Few emails need to be answered within 24 hours, and texts, while seeming urgent, rarely are.

• I am surrounded by information. I am now unsubscribing to many email lists and am regularly reducing the blogs I read. I hide many people on Facebook. I ensure I don’t get spam texts by not providing my mobile number where possible.

• I am more aware that when I blog, Facebook, search and email, the data trail I leave behind is potentially permanent. I want to be careful how I speak at all times and what I spend my time doing.

• I have gotten into the habit of skim-reading the bible. I want to break this quickly and completely. I want to study God’s word in detail, not skim over it because I have already read it so many times before. I am realising this takes real commitment – both of time and energy.

In the end, the biggest change that reading the book has encouraged me to commit to is a break from the online world. I am now trying to commit to 2 days a week with no internet connection.

• Thursdays because Husband & I have decided to have a regular day off again (no kids)
• Saturdays because that is really the ‘kids day off’ and I want to be with them more.

At this stage that means that on those days, I check no email, do not log on to Facebook, do not read any blogs and try not to reply to any texts. I try to keep my mobile on silent or away from sight. A few weeks in and I am actually loving it. I feel the pull of the computer, but enjoy the decision to stay away from it. I am already finding it incredibly freeing and it has helped me see what is a distraction and what excesses of information I need to remove from my life.


What about you? What has challenged you in this series?


If you want to keep thinking about some of these things, here are a few ideas:

• ABC news article: “On the Seventh Day, he logged off"
• Some social media statistics, which might explain some of the distraction and time wasting being online can be, eg. People spend 700 billion minutes per month on Facebook
• One man’s decision to dump his iPhone
• Screens and children – Raising our children in the age of the screen
• A humble post from Tim Challies when he really realised that commenting about people online still meant they were real people: A Holy Moment
• If you want to read about one author’s suggestion of how a completely online life might look, you could turn to Ben Elton’s Blind Faith – a disturbing look at where life could go where online life (and odd religiosity) rules all.

The Next Story - #8

Visibility and Privacy (Chapter 9: Seeing and being seen)

Ironically, we crave both visibility and privacy online.

We leave deliberate traces of our presence online: we comment on a blog, make a twitter update, update a Facebook status, post our own blogs, write emails, etc.

What we might not realise is at the same time, we are leaving digital traces wherever we go:

• Facebook knows what computer I am using, where I am, and what ads I have seen and whether I have clicked on any of them
• Mastercard knows where I was when I bought lunch
• Google knows which blogs I read, and which sites I have visited
• The bank knows when & where I get money out
• My mobile phone carrier knows where I am via GPS

We are under constant surveillance. We leave trails of physical evidence wherever we go (but no-one tracks the skin cells and hairs we leave behind). In our digital lives we also leave digital evidence wherever we go, and we are tracked and profiled depending on the data trails we leave behind.

Challies suggests we react in 2 ways:

1. Be aware of the fact that everything digital is traceable and react accordingly, keeping important information safe
2. Understand our lives are public in an unprecedented way. Through this we can bring honour to God or dishonour to his name.

When data is sorted, collated and analysed it can show patterns of behaviour and it can be predictive. The more data, the more accurate the profiles can be. Facebook has massive amounts of personal data about our lives – our birthdate, location, likes, religion, tastes, family connections – which are a goldmine for advertisers. Google searches are based on mathematical formula to interact with data to make money. Banks, Facebook, Google etc, make a mathematical model of us, that we can be explained by numbers and data.

We are individuals lovingly made by a creator. But we are learning not to see people as real people made in the image of God, but rather depersonalised data items, statistics, numbers, consumers, etc.

At the same time, our trail of data shows who we are when no-one can see us – the websites we visit, the comments we make, etc. Our searches show our hearts and desires, and they are retained forever. We ask search engines private questions, we look for answers online that we wouldn’t dare ask people.

We need to be diligent living lives marked by what we believe, ensuring we are above reproach at all times.

“Ultimately this visibility serves to remind us that we live all of our lives before the all-seeing eye of the Lord. Nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. (Luke 8:17). While we live in the view of mobile phone carriers and internet providers and search engines, we ultimately live before God, the one who sees all and knows all, and who will demand an accounting of every word, every deed, every moment we were given on this earth.” (33:11ff)

Seeing and being seen

While we are concerned about privacy online, at the same time we love to be seen. We are exhibitionists (as evidenced by the millions of YouTube videos and photo sharing websites) and we are voyeurs (watching these videos and reality TV).

Challies asks: “What happened to humility? What happened to respect?”

Where is humility in desiring to be seen and to have the attention? Are we looking for approval from God or attention from others?

Where is the respect when people’s lives are on show and are mocked or used for entertainment? Life becomes marked by disrespect.

“The bible calls us to so much more. It calls us to live with discretion, to live lives marked with humility, with respect for one another, to make little of ourselves so we can make much of Christ.” (42:34ff)

Application

• Be aware – our devices leave trails. Our lives are in the public eye
• Develop character – in a world that emphasises entertainment, develop character. Examine your entertainment, and your character. Do you need to reform your entertainment?
• Examine your trail – Are you trying to clean up your trail? Are you trying to protect yourself or hide your sin?

Things to think about (some based on Challies’ questions):

• Are there times you like to be seen?
• What does your data trail say about you? Would you like your spouse, parents, pastor to see it?
• How have you changed knowing people can see you? Do you realise God can see you all time?
• Is your character changed by exhibitionist and exploitative entertainment? Do you need to change the entertainment you view?

On Monday - some final thoughts

The Next Story - #7

Truth/Authority (Chapter 8: Here comes everybody)

Truth is at the heart of the divine, and it is an attribute of God that he calls us to imitate. Truth leads to God and error leads to Satan. Therefore, truth matters. We need to be clear and truthful when we speak.

Our knowledge must also be true. We must be careful how we choose the sources of our knowledge and who has authority to declare what is true.

2 examples of truth in a digital age:

1. Wikipedia – an example of truth by consensus

Challies is swift to point out the advantages of the Wiki model:

• it is often correct
• it is expansive, bigger in scope than any printed encyclopedia could ever be
• it relies on more sources
• it is cheap (relies on volunteer editors, accessed for free)
• it is responsive, entries can be changed quickly
• it is convenient (accessible by any internet device)

Yet, it also has significant drawbacks:

• It ignores human nature (assumes humans are good and will work together)
• It offers too little review (little quality control)
• It is too subjective – people can edit their own entries, corporations/politicians can change entries to suit their purposes, etc.
• It ignores authority (gained by experience, age, knowledge). All people are equal – the 12 year old can edit an entry, as can a distinguished expert in the field.
• It redefines truth – truth becomes indistinguishable from consensus. It democratises truth.

“Truth is what the majority determines it to be” (28:25).

We must remember that consensus and scripture are often at odds. The vast majority of people do not accept the claims of the Bible or Christ, but that consensus does not mean those claims are not true.


2. Search engines – an example of truth by relevance

Google’s search engines assign importance to various websites, by sites linking to one another and assign levels of trust to various sites. Wikipedia is assigned a very high level of trust, explaining why Wikipedia comes up #1 or #2 in almost all Google searches.

When you use a search engine, is it deciding what is the truest search for you based on relevance, which is all determined by complex mathematical formula.


In the end, the issue is not whether Wiki or search engines are good or evil, but how our technologies are changing our perception of truth. They mediate truth to us. The same thing happened when photos came to be believed over the written word.

Knowledge of truth cannot be democratised, they flow from God the author of truth. “Truth is not what is relevant or what is popular, but what God thinks.” (53:05)

“As Christians we know what is true because we know who is true. We know the source of truth and we have access to him through the words he has given us. We know that consensus and relevance may imitate truth and at times properly reflect what is true but all truth ultimately flows from the one who is truth” (37:50)

At the same time as our idea of truth is changing, so is our perception of authority. Instead of a few experts, we now have many amateurs. We have undermined the authority inherent in knowledge. Now we have crowd sourcing. Book and movie reviews can be written by anyone (including me!). Amateur reporters often have more followers than established political reporters.


What should we do?

Challies suggests we:

• Ensure our commitment to the Bible – to know what is true from the author of truth
• Be aware. Google does not speak truth but a mathematical search, Wiki is crowd sourced
• Celebrate authority – trust traditional sources

Things to think about (some based on Challies’ questions):

• Do you agree that truth is important? That truth is a key attribute of God and therefore one we must take seriously?
• How does use of Wiki or Google shape your understanding of what is true?
• How have you observed the undermining of authority inherent in knowledge? When does this concern you? When doesn't it concern you?

The Next Story - #6

Information (Chapter 7: More is better)

We live among so much information, that we have little time for wisdom.

“Information is not enough. The Christian life is one that is spent in the constant pursuit of wisdom for it is wisdom that allows us to live in a distinctly Christian way.” (3:29ff)

The starting point of wisdom is to know God. We hear little about wisdom, but we hear much about the benefits of information.

“Wisdom combines knowledge with experience to live with virtue. Every day we encounter data, information and knowledge, yet God calls us to live with wisdom (7:21ff).

Distraction (the previous chapter) and information are closely linked, as each distraction (email, text) brings us another nugget of information, making us feel that the distraction was worthwhile. Previously information was filtered – only a certain number of books were published. Now we have no filters – we have a glut of information, blogs, facebook, tweets, etc.

We have endless knowledge about people (where they were born, what they read, where they go), but we don’t truly know people. Hundreds of people are on the edges of our lives, but there are very few with whom we are intimately involved.

Challies then notes two potential problems with information and memory:

1. Outsourcing of memory – we don’t have to know things anymore, just know where to find the information. We think electronic memory is better than the brain. Why memorise the bible when I can look it up in a second?

The discipline of memorising teaches us and helps us to learn, as things enter our hearts. The information becomes knowledge, and then wisdom. “Empty minds will beget empty hearts and empty lives.” (38:50)

2. Eternality of information - Information online lives forever. Any blog, facebook message, photo is still online.

Forgetting is a blessing, a natural functioning of the human brain, it saves us from being owned by our memories. Yet we can reconstruct the most intimate parts of people’s lives by their search engine history, which is all retained online.

“Can a world that never forgets be a world that truly forgives?” (44:08)

Thankfully, our God does forget, he forgives our sin and remembers it no more.


Application – growing in wisdom

• Get wisdom - Less information may lead to more wisdom. Seek out information that can be turned into useful knowledge and wisdom to live by.
• Measure the input - Measure the sources of your information: TV, blogs, texts, newspaper, facebook. How much is useful information and how much is just noise?
• Choose quality over quality - Which are the best sources of information you have? The worst? Cut out the worst ones: hide undiscerning facebook friends, unsubscribe to useless blogs and emails.
• Simplify - your storage of information, store less.
• Memorise scripture - it moves God’s words from our minds to our hearts to our hearts.
• Make it count - Try to only access the information you need for your life and your faith. Move information to knowledge and wisdom.

Things to think about (some based on Challies’ questions):

• When do you feel most overloaded by information? How might more information lead to less wisdom?
• How could reduce the information in your life?
  
• How have you outsourced your memory? What’s the value? What are the dangers?

On Wednesday: Truth / Authority (Chapter 8: Here comes everybody)