Teenagers and Mental Health

Teenagers and Mental Health: A Handbook for Parents, Pastors, and Youth Leaders, Monica Kim and Danny Kwon (New Growth Press, 2025)

This is an excellent resource for those wanting to provide Christian care for teenagers with mental health challenges. Kim and Kwon aim to 

“outline the foundational elements of humble, godly, compassionate care for parents and churches who engage with teenagers struggling with mental illness. Our prayer is that parents, pastors, and youth leaders will be equipped to care in a variety of ways, feel empowered to do so more wisely and skillfully than before, and know when to humbly ask for help from others.” (p6)

Part 1 explores the foundational biblical principles, teen development and current cultural challenges. Practical ways churches can support teens and caregivers are suggested, as well as when to seek professional help, including advice for families who refuse outside help. I appreciated the suggestion that the role of the church is to develop relationships with teens’ families, and then act as refuge (safe place), lighthouse (navigational aid to help and other resources) and first responder. There is also encouragement for parents to be the parents, lovingly and kindly: 

Parents are “to model God to our children who is bigger, stronger, and wiser than they are and is undeservedly kind to them” (p71)

Part 2 explores specific mental health challenges in each chapter, including:

• anxiety and stress 
• depression 
• body image issues and eating disorders 
• substance abuse issues 
• trauma 
• schizophrenia or bipolar disorder 
• suicidal ideation 
• excessive screen use issues 

Each chapter follows the same format:

• A definition, with facts and statistics. 
• How the gospel speaks into that situation or mental health challenge 
• Providing compassionate care, often including some practical tools and approaches (essentially a Christian counsellor mini-tool-kit). This includes an ongoing reminder that these things can only be attempted after you have developed a relationship with the teen, and fully understand their story. 
• The benefits of good habits - encouragement to help the teen form helpful habits regarding sleep, exercise, diet, screen management, etc. 
• When to seek additional help 

The chapters on anxiety and depression are longer and provide more tools. Wisely, the chapters on more complex presentations are shorter, recognising that specialised help is often needed. When read as a whole, the chapters are quite repetitive, with similar content and the same exercises. However, if used as a resource for that one presentation, each chapter provides a more complete picture.

If I had a concern, it is that the tools and details included could give some overconfidence in using them when they do not have the skills. It’s one thing to guide someone in a breathing exercise, but it takes a fair amount of wisdom and self-awareness to help someone process their experience of trauma and challenge their distorted beliefs as a result of it. I would be cautious suggesting parents, pastors or youth leaders attempt this unless they have relevant training in that area.

Further complicating this is whether parents should be applying these tools with their own children at all. It is important to let parents be parents, and not muddy the role by also trying counsel their children. I suspect this isn’t what the authors are proposing, and the tools are more aimed at pastors who can handle such circumstances. I certainly came away with some tools and practices I could utilise in counselling.

This is comprehensive and compassionate resource that many who work with youth will benefit from. It encourages churches and leaders to care for their youth well and wisely, and gives all who work (or live) with teenagers extra information and encouragement to support them well. 

“Families need the love and support of their local churches for the long haul as they walk through difficult experiences of mental health struggle” (p215)

“The ultimate message of hope we can offer to teens and their parents - take heart, for Jesus has overcome the world, including the brokenness of our own hearts and minds.” (p216)

I received an ecopy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

The Library Book

The Library Book, Susan Orlean

“Worldwide, there are 320,000 public libraries serving hundreds of millions of people in every country on the planet.” Susan Orlean has written an ode to those libraries with an account focussing on Los Angeles Library. Orlean remembers a childhood spent with her mother at the local library:

“On the ride home, my mom and I talked about the order in which we were going to read our books and how long until they had to be returned, a solemn conversation in which we decided how to pace ourselves through this charmed, evanescent period of grace until our book were due.”

After years away (spent purchasing rather than borrowing books), she rediscovered the joy of the library with her young son, and realised that much is the same in libraries as it ever was.

“It wasn’t that time stopped in the library. It was as if it were captured here, collected here, and in all libraries – and not only my time, my life, but all human time as well. In the library, time is dammed up – not just stopped but saved. The library is a gathering pool of narratives and of the people who come to find them. It is where we can glimpse immortality; in the library, we can live forever.”

Yet, libraries have also changed vastly, dealing with digitisation, and becoming of one of the last free, safe public spaces available to all people, which now often provide children’s story time, ESL classes, genealogical services, assistance with government support and help for the homeless.

“The publicness of the public library is an increasingly rare commodity. It becomes harder all the time to think of places that welcome everyone and don’t charge any money for that warm embrace... One of the few places homeless people are welcomed, given access to computers and the Internet, and permitted to dally all day (unless they act out) is a public library. Libraries have become a de facto community centre for the homeless across the globe. There is not a library in the world that hasn’t grappled with it issue of how – and how much – to provide for the homeless. Many librarians have told me they considered this the defining question facing libraries right now...”

By focussing on Los Angeles library she deals with the major fire that damaged almost 1 million books and items in April 1986. So there are many details about how the fire spread, the damage done and the investigations that followed. One man in particular, Harry Peak, was always a suspect, but never convicted. It was interesting to read about a major fire and loss that I never heard about (we were even living in the USA at the time) partly because it was overshadowed by the Chernobyl disaster.

Woven throughout is the history of the library to date, from its humble beginnings, moving around various buildings and finally the construct of the landmark building it is today. She introduces us to the various librarians who have held the post with their quirks and foibles, and gives the reader an insight into the massively complex job it is to now run a major library network in a modern city,

She also talks about the role of books in general, and since this is a book about massive damage to a library, also considers what war and a decision to burn books does to the public record and says about the values of a people.

“Taking books away from our culture is to take away its shared memory. It’s like taking away the ability to remember your dreams. Destroying our cultures books is sentencing it to something worse than death: It is sentencing it to seem as if it never lived.”

Obviously I love books, love reading and love our library system. Not only do I love the actual books I get from it, we also borrow numerous DVDs, and every single book I read on long service leave (including this one) was a digital loan on an iPad, administered by our local library. I am getting to know our librarians personally and expressed my concern to them recently that a new automated borrowing system would not affect their employment. They assured me they have plenty to do elsewhere!

An interesting and insightful read about libraries and books, and the place they hold in our society.

Lit!

Lit! Tony Reinke

This book came across my shelf because of Jean’s high recommendation a few years ago. I read it and loved it. I chose it as the book I would go through with a Ministry Trainee group in an annual seminar. Then I turned it into a “Reading as a Christian” seminar and gave it to two different groups of women, one through a bible study group and one through a conference.

So it’s fair to say I am a big fan of this book. As you know, I am a reader - an avid, keen reader. But this books appeals to me as much as it will to someone for whom reading does not come so naturally - because it encourages you to read, gives you good reasons to read and helps you to think about how to read through the lens of your faith, using wisdom and discernment as tools to assess books and what we can learn from them.

This review is not so much a detailed review of the book, but a collection of thoughts as a result and the basis of my seminar.

My overall question is: If our lives are to be lived to the glory of God, how does that shape our reading?

Firstly, we start with a Christian view of reading:

1.  The bible is in a category all of its own - it is the Word of God

2.  Christians value words - we value the Word of God, his Son is the Word, we know words give meaning in a way that images cannot.
 

3.  Being a Christian brings wisdom and gives discernment

“Faith in Jesus brings with it a critically important benefit for the Christian reader – discernment. Discernment is the ability to do three things: the ability to “test everything”, to “hold fast to what is good,” and to “abstain from every form of evil (1 Thess 5:21-22)” (p35)

“Christians can read a broad array of books for our personal benefit, but only if we read with discernment. And we will only read with discernment if the biblical convictions are firmly settled in our minds and hearts. Once they are, we have a touchstone to determine what is pure gold and what is worthless.” (p59)

4.  There are great benefits to reading Christian books - both fiction and non-fiction

5. There are great benefits to reading non-Christian books - both fiction and non-fiction

‘In non-Christian works we discover what is so close, and yet so far away, from what we read in the Bible. The challenge is to make use of the “so close” for our edification and for the glory of God while being aware of the “yet so far away”.’ (p77)

Following on from this, there are some practical suggestions:

1. Examine your heart - what do you read, why do you read, do you read widely but with discretion or is your reading divorced from your faith and godly living?
2. Dwell in the word of God - as first priority read your bible.
3. Have a balanced reading diet - include Christian growth and understanding, life stage and professional development reading and reading for pleasure/enjoyment.
4. Guard your heart in your reading - be aware if there are some types of books you should avoid
5. Be active in your reading - take notes, put aside time for reading, be willing to stop reading a book
6. Read with others - in a bible study, with children, in a book group
7. Consider whether reading can be a problem - when, what, how much, etc
8. Be a mature reader:

“1. Mature readers prize wisdom
2. Mature readers cherish old books
3. Mature readers keep literature in its place
4. Mature readers avoid making books into idols
5. Mature readers cling to the Saviour” (p177)

In the end, I really enjoyed Reinke’s conclusion:

“Regardless of how many books we read, we cling to the old rugged cross. When books overwhelm us, and our intellectual limitations discourage us, we recall the gospel. In the good news of Jesus Christ, overwhelmed readers find peace, and joy, and the courage to keep reading.” (p185)

Plans for this year

So, you are up to date and musings is finally up and running again!

At this stage, my plan is to keep sharing with you about the good books that I am reading.

There may be other thoughts thrown in along the way, but books is where our attention will focus.

I’m aiming for a weekly book review at this point – we’ll see how we go! First one: Monday.

Books to read aloud

On Mondays for the next few months, I will be reviewing a selection of good books to read aloud to your kids. Aimed mainly at the 7-12 age range, I will be reviewing novels rather than picture books. There are so many good books available; sometimes it’s hard to know where to start.

Also, just because a book is a good read, does not mean it is always great to read aloud. Sometimes long explanations can make it hard, following complicated details of maps or directions, or even complicated character names make it hard to follow along while listening. Other books seem to have been designed to read aloud – they are easy to pronounce and add voice variation (for the one reading aloud) and easy to follow and appreciate (for the one listening).

I read aloud to our kids most nights – usually individually, but sometimes with two or all three. For a while I didn’t – the older two had learned to read and love reading, so were just as happy curled up in bed on their own reading. But as I have started to read to them and continued to make it a priority – I have come to realise the great benefits of reading aloud to older children:

1. You can enjoy a story together. If neither of you have read the book before, you both are excited about finding out about what happens. When my son and I read the Deltora Quest series 1 (9 books) together – we both loved discovering what happened at the end, it was really exciting for both of us. When you have read it previously, you enjoy seeing how they respond. When my son and I first read Charlotte’s Web, he was stunned to realise Charlotte died, and I remembered my own reaction to the same thing as a child.

2. You can talk about it together. Any book will raise things to talk about – whether it is the characters and how they act, the world events the book is set in, how you would feel in the same situation, etc. As Christians, we can also then talk about how God thinks about such things and how we as Christians might react in the same circumstances.

3. You understand how your kids think and what appeals to them. If they love the book you are reading, you can ask why. If they don’t like it, again you can talk about why. You learn what they find funny and what they don’t understand.

4. You can pick up gaps in their own reading and vocabulary. Most nights I try to hand one of my kids the book we are reading and they read aloud a few pages. It gives them reading aloud practice, and helps me see how their decoding, comprehension and expression skills are coming along.

So, lots of good books are coming up. As usual, I would love your ideas too – there is no way we have read all the good books to read aloud out there – so let me know you favourites too!

More resources?

I realise there are many more books about family, sex, babies and puberty written for children.  Do you have any you recommend?

I am keen to read Patricia Weerakoon’s new one – although we are a quite a few years off reading it to our kids yet, so I can wait on that for a bit.

Any other books your family has found helpful?

New Growth Press

I have started a bit of a partnership with New Growth Press.

They are having blog tours to promote their new titles. They send me a copy and those that I like and recommend, I will review here on musings.

I want to up front about this.  I receive a free copy of the ebook to review in advance and will sometimes receive a free paper copy.  At times I will be able to offer some free copies (either paper or ebook) to readers.  I am not in any way obliged to write positive reviews, although when I choose to review a book it will be because I think it is good.

I have been very encouraged by some of the material I have seen so far and am keen to share it with you.

Later this week I will be reviewing one of their new titles – an excellent book and a great resource, although it's a sign of our fallen world that such a resource needs to exist.  Come back later and see…

Book Spine Poetry

I was tagged by Jean to do a book spine poem.

I have decided to do one of the stages of a woman's life (or at least mine to this point!) 

for women only
Girl stuff
Everywoman
The single issue
Loves me, loves me not
Of marriageable age
The first years of forever
Couplehood
Sheet music
10,000 baby names
And then I had kids
Naked motherhood
The memory keeper's daughter
Getting real


This was fun.

I want to do another one, but most of the Christian books that I want to use are in my husband's office.  Must make a visit in...

Lots of fellow bloggers have already had a go, but if you want to - go ahead and let me know.  Or, if you are not a blogger, send me a photo of yours if you like!

5 books that changed who I am: meme

Nicole tagged me in a meme, started by Ally. To play along, I need to share five books that changed who I am. Rules are:

• Tag between 3 and 5 people
• link back to this post.
• call the post '5 books that changed who I am'
• enjoy.

I agree with Nicole, I really struggled to narrow it to 5.


1. The Bible - completely transformed my life with God's gracious offer of salvation through Jesus Christ, and continues to do so. It was the book of James from which I was converted and it still holds a special place in my heart.


2. Praying the Scriptures for your children, Jodie Bernt. This book helped me to think about better ways to pray and how to pray straight from the bible. It changed my whole prayer life.



3. The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness, Tim Chester. This is a recent addition and it has really helped me at what I would categorise to be 'an extremely busy life stage'. I have had many misconceptions about the reasons for my own busyness torn down, and I still trying to think through much of it and how I need to deal with a tendency to overcommit for sinful reasons. (I recently blogged through this one in detail on in tandem).


4. Operation World, Jason Mandryk. While I don't read and pray from this nearly as often as I would like, I love what this book does. It's a prayer guide that covers every nation and contains a wealth of information to help you pray for the people of the world intelligently and informatively. It will broaden your horizons and make you realise how big God is, how large his church, and how small you are in comparison.


5. And for fiction, I can hardly choose. To sneak in a few extra titles, in the past year I have absolutely loved The Book Thief and The Time Traveller's Wife. However, for a series of books that I love and are my 'comfort' books - I read them when I need a break - I can't go past Diana Gabaldon's Outlander Series. They combine history, romance and a wonderful story of an entire marriage. If only she would finish the 8th in the series soon!


I am going to break the rules at this point, and not really tag anyone, but if you want to continue go for it. However, I do know 3 bloggers who are big book fans, so perhaps Meredith, Tamie or Jenny might be up for it? No pressure though...it is a little like a chain letter!

Books

What things on earth fill your life with joy and have the power to change you - at least for a little while?

For some, it's music - the enjoyment of a composition of brilliance.

For others, it might be an artwork that touches them.

For others (and sometimes me) - it's creation - the amazing array of the world and it's natural beauty.

But, above all, for me - it's the written word. I am amazed at what well written words can do.

God's word trumps them all. Yet there are some incredibly talented human authors too. I have read some great books over these holidays, I'll share them with you over coming weeks.