One-to-one bible reading

One-to-One Bible Reading, David Helm

This is an excellent little resource for those who would like to read the bible with someone but just don’t really know where to start. It is appropriate for any person you might meet with: non-Christian, new-Christian, or committed Christian.

Here are words from Helm we all need to hear:

the greatest hindrance to inviting someone to read one-to-one will be an unbiblical view that you are not ready for this. You will tell yourself you haven’t been properly trained, or simply don’t know enough about the bible to help another person along the way. In fact, you may even try to convince yourself that someone should be initiating reading the bible one-to-one with you, rather than you initiating it with another person. It’s a tempting thought.

But it’s also not true.

Any committed Christian is capable of initiating a good conversation on a biblical text. (p24, emphasis mine)

However, the truth is, many of us are just too scared to try. This book is what you need to give you some help. Part 1 covers the basics of what to do in one-to-one bible reading, why to do it and how to go about it.

Part 2 gives some methods on how to actually read the bible with someone, and some guidelines. He introduces both the Swedish method and the COMA method of bible reading, with the clearest explanations of both that I have read.

Then, comes the material that is invaluable for those starting out - there are suggested books of the bible (divided up into sections) for different people (non-Christians, new Christians, etc). There are whole sets of questions for different types of literature (gospels, OT narrative, prophetic, wisdom, epistles, etc). Then there is a set of 8 studies working through Marks’ gospel - perfect to start with an unbeliever. All of these are even reproduced again at the back of the book as photocopyable sheets. You can also download them.

I think this should be standard reading for all committed Christians, especially bible study leaders, youth group leaders, etc. Give them out this year as Christmas presents!

One-to-one: Resources (Ch 8), Appendices and Conclusions

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship HandbookResources (Ch 8), Appendices and Conclusions

The final chapter of the book is a resource list, including bible study resources & books to read on various topics. She also includes a number of sample bible studies for both believers and unbelievers.

There are 2 appendices: one on personal quiet times and the other on how to structure a course to train people for for one-to-one ministry.

All of these are very helpful, and if you are convinced that this is a book worth reading (like I am) you will already have gotten hold of it and therefore have the resources in front of you!

As we draw this book series to a close - let me encourage you to consider your one-to-one ministry:

• How might you, in the life stage you are currently in, become involved in meeting with someone one-to-one?

• If you already do meet with someone, has this book encouraged you and challenged you to ensure you are reading the bible together, praying together and sharing your lives with each other?

Perhaps you have been encouraged as I have and you also have these words from Hebrews ringing in your ears:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:23-25)

One-to-one: Chapter 7

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook
Chapter 7 - Other considerations

De Witt now begins to draw things to a close with some final things to consider in one-to-one work.

1. Accountability - as one-to-one work is by nature private, it is important to ensure you have accountability measures in place, in light of the risks mentioned in chapter 2 (intensity, control, legalism, etc) but also that you are not teaching heresy, being legalistic, that you are remaining prayerful, that you are giving appropriate advice and that you are not being drained by the relationship.

This can be achieved a number of ways, the most common of which is with a prayer partner(s). She also suggests that someone in the leadership of your church or group knows that you are catching up with someone in that fellowship.

I found this a helpful point. I suspect, as ministry wives, that we do not always ensure these types of accountability measures are in place. Whether it is to a trusted prayer partner, or even our husband (as the leader of the gathering), it is important to establish a structure where we can be accountable for our one-to-one relationships.
 Have any of you done this and how has it worked?

2. Pastoral Issues
Confidentiality - we want to be an entirely trustworthy confidante for our one-to-one partner. At the same time we want to be careful about promising entire confidentiality. There are some circumstances which we are required to report by law. Also, it is unwise to agree to complete confidentiality when major issues arise, such as major psychological problems, issues of physical or sexual abuse, self-harm, etc. We are unlikely to be equipped to deal with such scenarios and emotionally we will need support in order to support our one-to-one partner.

God's sovereignty and our responsibility

We must always remember the truth of God's loving sovereignty and ultimate responsibility to take care of his children. Knowing this will give us more confidence to keep persevering with someone who is sharing some distressing personal struggles, without that sense of panic at our total inexperience of helplessness. (p149)

De Witt goes on to give some helpful pointers for when to recommend someone see a professional counsellor, such as a problem persisting for several months, they are very depressed, suicidal or have a persistent sleep problem. Even if someone does require professional help, they will still benefit from their time with you - as you continue to look at biblical and spiritual truths together.


3. Moving on

This should be an exciting time as we see our one-to-one partner move to to live the Christian life more effectively as they are more rooted and established in Christ. (p155)

However, it can also be tricky as people can end up feeling rejected. It is a time which can require care. We will want to make sure they are in other Christian relationships which will help them persevere in their faith (eg home groups, prayer partners, etc)

Similarly, it can be hard for us to 'let them go'. It is tempting to enjoy being looked up to and depended on for guidance. In the end though, we want them to grow in their dependence on God.


Things to think about:

• Do you have an accountability group or partner? Do you need to find one?
• Can you identify when someone needs professional help?
• Are you able to 'let go' of your one-to-one partners, encouraging them to continue to depend on God for their spiritual growth and maturity?

Next Week: Resources (Ch 8), Appendices and Conclusions

One-to-one: Chapter 6

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook
Chapter 6 - Making Conversations Count

Having dealt more than adequately with how we should prepare to read the bible with someone and what our time together could look like, De Witt now turns her attention to the conversations we have with them. She looks at 5 types of conversations we may have.

1. Gospel conversation:

It is probably fair to say that these times of 'quality catch-up' are the lifeblood of a well-functioning church, where individual members are taking seriously the command to 'love one another' by taking time out for other members of the church family ... We should never underestimate the needs in an average church for encouraging and supportive input, however outwardly confident people seem. (p130)

To have helpful conversations we need to be able to ask questions sensitively, and respond appropriately ensuring we have been listening.

2. Encouragement - for those who are struggling with circumstances, encouragement and comfort may be what we provide.

3. Sometimes it will be appropriate to rebuke someone and a tactfully given gentle word would be the first step that we would undertake. For those who are already aware of their sin or error, rebuke may not be necessary, but rather a pointing to the extent of God's grace.

4. Correction can be required when we encounter false doctrine. The basis for any such correction must always be the bible, and as such we must ensure we are also growing in our knowledge and understanding of God's word.

5. Finally, there may be times where we may need to challenge someone, perhaps to consider more involvement in a ministry area.

Then, she goes on to list some passages that are useful for specific issues, including depression, fear, forgiveness, guidance, and worry.


Things to think about*:

• Would someone listening in on your conversations with others think they were conversations that counted for eternity?
• If you already meet one-to-one with someone, what type of conversation do you think they need at the moment?
• Which type of conversation should someone be having with you?

(* These are all adapted from the study questions in the book)


Next Week: Chapter 7 - Other considerations

One-to-one: Chapter 5

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook
Chapter 5 - Meeting Regularly to Study the Bible: When You Meet

There is a lot of useful practical material in this chapter, so I will just give you some of the headings and summarise a few points along the way.

1. The practicalities - where to meet (usually a quiet place, but if you have nowhere quiet - meet wherever you can), how long to meet for (women usually meet for longer than men), make sure the bible study time doesn’t keep getting eroded by chatting time.

2. Leading the bible study

• set the right tone - relaxed and informal
• respond to answers - wait for the person to think and respond, don’t jump in
• encourage them to use their bible, looking it up to see the answer
• be wise when dealing with ‘red herrings’ - issues that are off topic - sometimes they need to be answered straight away, sometimes they don’t
• pray together - help draw ideas together at the end, sharing prayer points, helping encourage people to pray

You can also consider whether to ask your one-to-one partner to do some preparation before the next study. Often people can find some time in the week, and many will willingly do some extra reading in advance.

There are also couple of helpful pages by Rico Tice which cover his advice on meeting one-to-one with non-Christians.

3. Other issues to address - she suggests that over the course of a year or so, it’s good to also cover some key doctrines and certain lifestyle issues that may not come up in passages you are studying. This helps us to be grounded in our faith and to live it out more thoroughly. Some of these may be:

• doctrine - assurance, predestination, Jesus’ return, the Holy Spirit, biblical manhood and womanhood, prayer, the church, etc.
• lifestyle issues - evangelism, sex & relationships, family, money, career, prayer life, etc. She also covers some helpful pointers when covering ‘issues’ - how we need to be willing to let people fail, to support them, to speak to truth in love & to watch our motives.

4. Training - one-to-one ministry is a great way to train people in handling the bible themselves, personal evangelism, in one-to-one ministry & in training bible teachers.


Some things to think about:

• If you meet with someone one-to-one - do you tend towards studying bible passages or doctrine/issues? Do you need to change the focus a little?
• If you don’t meet with someone one-to-one - why not draft a bible study for a one-to-one meeting and ask a friend or mentor if you can lead it for the two of you? If you are scared of meeting with someone one-to-one this may be a helpful first step.

Next week: Chapter 6 - Making Conversations Count

One-to-one: Chapter 4

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook
Chapter 4 - Meeting Regularly to Study the Bible: Before You Meet

De Witt starts the chapter covering some basic practical matters:

• how you ask someone to meet with you
• how their spouse may feel about it (if they are married)
• how often to meet (weekly or fortnightly)
• how long to meet for (maybe 6 months to start and then re-assess)
• what to study (eg. book of the bible, a Christian theme using various bible passages, or a Christian book on a bible theme)

She makes the point that studying the bible directly (without a guide) should be the norm. If we look at themes, we can inadvertently turn towards our hobby horses rather than searching the Scriptures. Similarly, looking a Christian book should be done so that it can turn you back to the bible.

I must say I found this point helpful to think through. I meet in a triplet of wives to support each other, and we have gone through a book last year and this year. This challenged me that our next thing, and perhaps our priority from now on, should be looking at the bible together.

The rest of the chapter covers how to actually prepare a bible study that you would do with someone when you meet one-to-one. She starts from the beginning, assuming no real knowledge of how to prepare a study - this is very helpful. There is no way we could accuse her of encouraging us to read the bible one-to-one with someone, but not providing us with the tools to do so.

Her suggestion is that for a non-Christian, you should start with Mark’s gospel. This is what my husband has been doing for years when he meets up with non-Christians on uni campuses. It’s what I have started to do this year also. Both he and I can testify to how much we learn each time we do it, let alone how exciting it is to read it with someone else.

She also gives suggestions for after that, perhaps Colossians or 1 Peter, and the outline of a brief ‘course’ of foundation of faith. A lot of these ideas are expanded in Chapter 8 (Resources) where she has provided some sample bible studies.

Then she deals with the details of writing a bible study - trying to get understand the overall point of the passage, observation (what the passage says), interpretation (what the passage means), application (what the passage means to me) and then putting all this into a bible study format (questions).

It was at this point that I thought this book would also be of great benefit to bible study group leaders. In fact, I wonder if the best form of training for potential bible study group leaders is to ask that they start a bible study with one person - a one-to-one relationship.


To think about:

• If you already meet with someone one-to-one, do you think you put enough emphasis on bible study - both as the focus of what you do together, and with the amount of time you give to preparation before the meeting?

One-to-one: Chapter 3

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook
Chapter 3 – What’s Involved

So, we have decided meeting one-to-one is a good thing to do. What then, should we do? De Witt believes meeting together should have 3 elements:

1. Prayer

As it is God’s work to bring people to new life in Christ it is also His work to continue that work until the last day.

we need to be crying out to God to be establishing and growing his children according to his good will. We must be utterly dependent on him to work his perfect will in people’s lives, rather than depending on our methods or commitment to change people in a lasting way. (p51)

2. Bible Study

The Bible is to be our main resource as we meet with people because it is God's true word and

it is God’s designated tool for one-to-one work:

• if we are meeting with unbelievers we should use the bible “unashamedly and extensively to prove that Jesus is Lord & explain God’s plan of salvation” (p61)
• 2 Tim 3:16 tells us that all scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. If we use the bible, we can have the joy of seeing the people of God thoroughly equipped for every good work.

3. Friendship Sharing our lives with our one-to-one partner.

If our times of one-to-one bible study and prayer are to have the fullest possible impact on both of our lives, we need to share something of who we are, what commitments and relationships we have, how we use our time and money, and what struggles we are both facing. (p71)

It also means meeting practical needs to the extent that we are able. Do they need a meal, some help moving, and afternoon off from the kids? “It is costly in terms of time, emotional energy, vulnerability and sometimes finances. But is it very rewarding.” (p73)

De Witt knows that this will be hard for some of us to manage, she encourages prayer so that we can give of our lives to others.


Things to think about:

• Do you tend to emphasise one of these three elements in your one-to-one ministry?
• Do you tend to neglect one?
• Do find it hard to genuinely share your life with people to the extent suggested here?

One-to-one: Chapter 2

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook
Chapter 2 – Getting Involved

De Witt starts the chapter dealing with some usual arguments why someone would not consider doing one-to-one ministry – such as feeling inferior or incompetent, it not being practical or it feeling unnatural.

However, I suspect for those of us who are ministry wives, while we certainly may not feel up to the task, we know that we have a position in which it is logical, easy and perhaps even expected that we might want to catch up with other Christian women to read the bible together. What a privilege! People may expect us to want to read the bible, be keen to do so with younger Christians and will feel like you are ‘doing’ your job if you ask people to read the bible with you. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by such expectations, perhaps we could see it as an opportunity and grab it.

She goes on to list some qualifications for one-to-one ministry. The main one is to be a Christian holding firm to the gospel of Christ and seeking to live for God’s glory (p29). All of the following we can continue to grow in!:

• we must have a strong personal commitment to the Lord Jesus – we need to be moving forward in our relationship with God
• we will need to love – to pray, to be patient, etc
• we will need to have a working knowledge of the Bible – to understand God’s basic plan of salvation and how it unfolds, understand types of literature in the bible and how to approach them
• we will need to be honest and simple – honest about our lives and struggles (appropriately) and simple in our presentation of ideas
• we will need to be prepared to count the cost – it will take time and emotional energy

Well, who should we meet with? Someone who is willing to meet! But especially consider:

• non-Christians who are interested in matters of faith and finding out about Jesus
• new or young Christians – those recently converted
• those who will be able to teach others, who need some training or equipping

For those of us in ministry, chances are we know of more people who could benefit from one-to-one discipleship than we could possibly take on. However, as we are also often privy to confidential information, we may also have a bigger picture of the needs of many, and therefore (especially in consultation with our husbands) may find it easy to decide on one or two women to catch up with.


De Witt goes on to list some of the potential dangers of one-to-one work:

• intensity – unhealthy intensity can develop in a one-to-one relationship. Therefore it is recommended that only women mentor women (and likewise men, men). One should also be aware of the potential for same-sex attraction and how to deal with it. If that is a potential risk-area for you, you should strongly re-consider whether one-to-one work is workable for you.
• control - where the (usually) initiator holds too much authority over the ‘disciple’.
• legalism – concern for personal godliness can overflow intro a list of rules and regulations for the younger Christian.
• over-dependence – looking to the disciple for instruction & guidance, rather than God’s word
• pride – on behalf of the discipler, being looked up to and seen as a ‘guru’ can easily make us proud of ‘our achievements’ with the person.
• isolation – if those meeting together are not part of the church body

Things to think about:

• If you do not currently meet with someone one-to-one, are you in a position to consider doing so?
• What is holding you back? (both legitimate reasons and excuses!)
• Is there someone you know who you could consider meeting with?

One-to-one: Chapter 1

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook

Chapter 1: What is one-to-one work?

One-to-one ministry can be incredibly varied – it can be reading the bible with an unbeliever, training a potential leader and encouraging a new or struggling Christian. It can be highly structured with a time of bible reading and prayer, or more informal as people chat over a coffee or while out walking. The common factor is “the idea of pointing someone to Jesus, to encourage them to trust and obey the gospel of Christ”. (p1)

As we saw last week, the definition de Witt uses is:

one Christian taking the initiative with another individual to help them to know Christ better and obey him more fully, through studying the Scriptures, prayer (for and with them) and sharing one’s life with them – and leaving the results to God. (p2)

She acknowledges that in this relationship it is more normal for one person to have more knowledge and experience as a Christian from which the other can learn. I found this distinction helpful for as I read this book, it didn’t always easily fit into the framework of a peer relationship.

De Witt notes that as we look at Scripture, there are many commands of how the community of believers are to serve one another – encouraging, loving, instructing, building up, spurring on, praying, etc. From these commands we get a strong idea that the Christian life is corporate:

God’s plan is that we live and grow as Christian together. But this only happens as we each focus on other individuals, seeking to help, encourage, teach and so on. Sadly we are often rather poor at this. Our relationships with other Christians so easily end up focusing on sport, home improvements, or the latest disaster with our children, rather than on Christ” (p5)

What goals should we have in one-to-one work?

1. Witnessing to non-Christians – teaching and modelling the gospel and praying for them

2. Growing Christians in their faith:

• helping them stand firm in Jesus and mature to be more like him
• to know God better through his word
• to grow in prayerfulness
• to address issues of confusion, lifestyle or wrong expectations

3. Seeing individuals equipped to serve others in the body of Christ.

Using the language of Ephesians 1,

We want people to be rooted and established in Christ, confident in their faith and growing in love and godliness as they know God better, so that the body of Christ is built up and matured as members serve one another, so that God, being seen and worshipped for who he really is, is glorified. (p14)

And, if we still need convincing – she lists the main advantages of one-to-one work:

• understanding – there is more time to study passages and doctrines in depth and ensure understanding of them
• application - can have deeper and more personal application than in a group setting
• example – can actually see another Christian as they live out the Christian life, in its joys and struggles
• accountability – it is a safe environment to share struggles
• training – a great opportunity to train others in preparing bible studies, talks, or in doing one-to-one ministry themselves

One-to-one: Introduction

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

One-to-one: A Disicpleship Handbook
Introduction

De Witt sets up the ‘why’ and ‘what’ of this book in the introduction. She starts with the great commission in Matthew’s gospel:

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:19-20)

For most people, key turning points in faith or becoming disciples came about because of individuals who influenced them, cared for them, prayed for them and taught them the bible.

The kingdom of God advances one person at a time as individuals are born again by God’s spirit and increasingly transformed into the likeness of Christ. (xv-xvi).

She says that this book was born out of the conviction that many more Christians need to be exercising a personal ministry of reaching out to others – to be teaching and modelling the gospel. This one-to-one work is:

one Christian taking the initiative with another individual to help them to know Christ better and obey him more fully, through studying the scriptures, prayer (for and with them) and sharing one’s life with them – and leaving the results to God. (xvi)

I really liked this definition – including the acceptance and knowledge that the results of such things are up to God, not ourselves.

As the book goes on, de Witt will cover how to read the bible with someone, how to pray with someone, just being a friend and also matters of confidentiality, counselling, etc.

Hopefully this has whetted your appetite to hone your skills at one-to-one ministry!

One-to-one

Perhaps you are interested in meeting with someone one-to-one to read God's word together, pray and encourage one another?

If so, you would do well to read One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook by Sophie de Witt. She defines one-to-one ministry as:

one Christian taking the initiative with another individual to help them to know Christ better and obey him more fully, through studying the scriptures, prayer (for and with them) and sharing one’s life with them – and leaving the results to God. (xvi)

I am currently working through a series on it on in tandem. (which has been transferred here to musings).

It's well worth your while, as the foreword by Rico Tice says:

If you understand this book and put it’s principles into practice ... you’ll be absolute gold dust in any church family. (xiii)

It's always nice to be considered gold!

A new book series!

This series was originally posted on In Tandem, a blog for ministry wives

Our book series for Term 2 will be on One-to-one: A Discipleship Handbook, by Sophie de Witt.

There is every chance as a minister’s wife that you either want to read the bible with others or that you are expected to! However, as many of us will openly testify, just because we have a role does not mean we feel we have the skills to perform that role. You might think:

• I would love to help that new Christian along in her walk of faith, but I have no idea how to do it
• There are some key people that should be trained as leaders, but how could I do that?
• A younger woman has asked me to read the bible with her – help! Where do we start, what do we read, what should I say...??

Well, search no more – this book will help you with all the basics of one-to-one ministry. As Rico Tice says in the foreword,

If you understand this book and put it’s principles into practice ... you’ll be absolute gold dust in any church family. (xiii)

If, on the other hand, you have been doing one-to-one ministry for years, this book will help to ensure that you are keeping on target, making reading God’s word & prayer the primary focus of your time with others. It will also be a great resource as you seek to train others to do one-to-one ministry.

Therefore, it’s relevant for all of us – so why don’t you grab a copy, and join us as we start our next book series, beginning next week.