Down, Not Out

Down, Not Out: Depression, anxiety, and the difference Jesus makes, Chris Cipollone (The Good Book Company, 2018) 

Lots of books about depression and anxiety are about understanding it, or helping those around us who are struggling, which are very helpful and needed. However, this offering by Chris Cipollone is much more for the person living with depression and anxiety. It’s gentle, loving and honest as he shares his own journey, and guides the reader through the gospel truth that God loves them and is with them through it all.

With 15 very short chapters, it’s very readable in small chunks, purposefully designed for the person who doesn’t have a long concentration span. Again and again, there were messages of hope and encouragement:

“I still live with depression. But life has seasons, and in God’s grace it is possible to press on. Your life has dignity because God gave it to you.” (p.13)

“We are beloved children of God, and this, more than any other truth, must impact how we navigate mental illness.” (p.15)

“You may live with mental illness for a while, or for the rest of your life. However, the extent to which this affects your daily life will fluctuate. When you are having a good day, praise God for this mercy. When you are having a bad day, know that God is still for you and not against you. His love never changes, and salvation is not dependent on our ability to function how we would like.” (p. 23)

While the chapters are short, they are not light. He addresses feelings (which do not change our reality in Christ), sin (how mental illness is the result of sin in the general sense but not necessarily specifically), and how Satan could be at work in this space (yet God is always more powerful). He encourages the pursuit of maturity rather than happiness, and warns us to be aware of idols that underlie our struggles. 

“It could be that your depression or anxiety reveal something about the ways in which you become dissatisfied with God. If so, your gospel identity tells you that you can bring your heart to him with honesty, and rest in the grace the he has shown you in Christ.” (p.73)

He openly addresses suicide: “It may not look impressive but the act of not succumbing to suicidal thoughts is in itself a reliance on God’s strength” (p.79)

He encourages seeking wise help, both Christian and secular, and utilising what is helpful and available in terms of medication and therapy. Our prayers can speak our pain and longing honestly to God - we can groan, mourn and wail, but we hold back from cursing God. We continue to be involved in our Christian communities, despite the challenges.

“However, we who wrestle with mental illness must also remember to be gracious to ourselves for we have a Lord who is wonderfully gracious with us. We may find that in our darkest moments worship simply looks like getting through each day that God has given us.” (p.66-67)

He finishes with the encouragement to carers and supporters to just keep patiently loving - when people are struggling and when they are not.

In the end - the framework to persevere is found in Jesus:

“Your identity is in Christ, and you’re loved by God, who you worship each and every day” (p.134)

If you are struggling with anxiety or depression (or someone close to you is), and you want to explore it through a compassionate and understanding Christian lens, this is an excellent choice.

When the Noise Won't Stop

When the noise won’t stop: A Christian guide to dealing with anxiety, Paul Grimmond (Matthias Media, 2022)

Current figures indicate that anxiety is the most common mental health condition in Australia, with 1 in 4 people experiencing it at some stage in their life (Beyond Blue). Therefore, this new book by Australian pastor and teacher, Paul Grimmond, is a timely offering exploring anxiety for Christians. Grimmond shares his own long-term struggles with anxiety as well as that of others. It is theologically and biblically rich, considering how anxiety impacts the believer, whether anxiety is a sin, and how to live with its challenges.

“This book is an attempt to create a biblically faithful framework for understanding anxiety and then to apply the framework to living with anxiety” (p. 19)

The book engages with anxiety as a mental health condition (not the stresses of day to day life). Its main focus is for “people who struggle with the distress and difficulty of living with anxiety”, but also for those who support others, be they family, friends or pastors. Grimmond notes that the the topic is neither simple nor does he want to be simplistic, so the book goes a bit deeper because it requires considered thought. I appreciated this warning, but at 200 pages it doesn’t feel overly long. It is longer than most books these days, but its structure, style, and personal touches means it doesn’t feel overblown.

Starting with a quick history of psychology and some presuppositions, Grimmond then turns to God’s word. Up front he concedes that Phil 4:6 (Do not be anxious about anything…) is the most challenging passage for many with anxiety, and has led some to conclude that anxiety is sin. He wants us to have a broader, more nuanced lens considering anxiety, concerns, and fear as presented in the bible. Fear and
anxiety are “emotional responses to God and his world that can be either helpful or unhelpful, healthy or sinful” (p. 53).

Exploring the concept of living in fallen minds and bodies, Grimmond points out that anxiety exists because we live in a world broken by sin, because our biology is affected by the fall, and because there is a psychological component to it.

The then draws three conclusions which shape the remainder of the book:

• anxiety is a complex problem with a complex solution 
• those with anxiety are both sinners and sufferers (as is every person), and 
• we need to take responsibility, while also acknowledging that we are not fully in control 

He leads the reader to see the that gospel is indeed the answer to anxiety, but not in a simplistic way.

“If anxiety is a complex reality, affected by the fallenness of the world, shaped by the chemistry occurring in a body that awaits its final renewal, and arising in a person who still struggles with sin, then shouldn't our normal expectation be that rather than beating anxiety, the goal is to learn to live wisely with it in a way that honours Jesus?” (p. 87)

He then considers how sin contributes to anxiety. I felt he explored the balance carefully here. He is quick to point out that having anxiety is not sin, yet our sinfulness can contribute to our anxiety. So, sometimes that will mean facing the unhelpful patterns and behaviours that contribute to our sinfulness (which every person on earth has), and how they might feed our anxiety, or be impacted by it. Then, he exhorts the reader to find the security to confront sin - by confessing, trusting in our heavenly Father as his beloved and precious children, trusting the Lord knows our hearts and struggles, and always resting in God’s grace and mercy.

In exploring how to respond to anxiety, first we are to engage our minds in fellowship with others. This chapter explored the benefits of counselling, the importance of healthy self-talk (“stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself”), and persevering in the basics of the Christian life (church, fellowship, bible reading, etc). We are also to care for our bodies with good diet, exercise, sleep, breathing and relaxation. He notes how that medication can be of value, and that we should make wise choices to expose ourselves to our anxiety (rather than avoid situations that lead to it). There is discussion about prayer, and how it can be hard for the anxious person, yet God keeps inviting us to come to him.

One chapter focuses on those who support others with anxiety, encouraging godly friendship with emotional awareness and healthy mutuality not dependence. He also has some very pastorally gentle encouragement for those who care for those with anxiety while also struggling themselves (eg. parents with their children).

In the end, Grimmond encourages hope for those who are wearied by anxiety. It will get better, God will use the struggle, and in the end, he will bring us home.

This is a great book for the Christian with anxiety and those who want to help them. It is biblically rich and theologically sound, giving a framework for understanding. Grimmond is pastorally sensitive and gentle, he speaks the truth in love, and encourages change and hope for believer with anxiety.

Anxious About Decisions

Anxious about Decisions: Finding Freedom in the Peace of God, Michael Gembola (New Growth Press, 2022)

Do you find yourself overwhelmed by decisions? Find it hard to make them, or feel anxious about the implications, that “what ifs?” Do you overthink, gather lots of advice, feel self-doubt, feel unable to trust others, or delay in decision making so long that you lose opportunities? If this is you, you are likely to find some helpful guidance here. Michael Gembola’s general message is:

“God uses your decision-making to help you grow up and mature as a Christian. Decision-making is an arena for spiritual formation.” 

As such, decisions are not usually about discovering God’s will in the specifics, rather God uses times of decision making to make us more peaceful and to make us better stewards.

“My own conviction is that God is more interested in growing us up as Christians and helping us learn how to make wise decisions, rather than making decisions for us via impressions or authority figures.”

Part 1 explores decision anxiety - how it works (by trying to eliminate risk), and how we make it worse (by overthinking, overconsulting, overchecking, and avoidance). He notes that God tells us his moral will, but not the answers to nonmoral questions. There are helpful warnings about relying on feeling and testing God for his guidance:

“It’s hard to live with the reality that we don’t know all we’d like to know before we make decisions, and that in most nonmoral decisions, we won’t ultimately know with perfect assurance we’re making the right decision, or the decision that will lead to the outcomes we desire.”

Part 2 explores where decision anxiety comes from - notably the cultural challenges of young adulthood, and family background.

Growing into spiritual maturity is the key:

“But what a beautiful thing it is to be deeply at peace, to be spiritually steady, to be loving and serving others even when you feel stuck, to be able to take small, constructive steps even when you feel confused or anxious.”

Part 3 explores three main areas: marriage, vocation, and the smaller things.

With marriage - the key advice is that you need to know God and know yourself to have wisdom to make this major life decision.

“As you have a better sense of your goals and dreams in life, you have a better sense of who would be a good fit to pursue those with you—and whose goals and dreams you’d like to sign on to as well.”

He encourages the prayerful consideration of a partner’s compatibility, character and your connection with them. I thought these were wise considerations for anyone in the discernment stage of a relationship. And he does advice listening to your anxiety in this area - it may be telling you something you haven’t yet managed to put into words. 

With vocation he encourages working toward faithful stewardship and peace, and we steward in community.

“We must learn to be faithful stewards of the little corner of creation that God has invited us to cultivate. Knowing what job is a good fit for us requires us to go a step further than interests and talents. So vocation—calling—is not primarily something found inside us. It suggests that someone is doing the calling—there is a voice; there are words for us from outside of us”

The final chapter explores smaller decisions that cause anxiety and also touches on the traits that tend toward obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD): “I want you to consider decisions about the small stuff as small steps of faith and trust.” He advises that decision making is a learned skill, so take the risk, accept our imperfections and mistakes, and see incremental progress.

“One final piece of ancient advice from believers long ago who were quite familiar with the overscrupulous conscience is this: whatever anxiety tells you to do, do the opposite. If it tells you not to risk going out, go out. If it tells you to pray longer, don’t. Consider anxiety an unreliable guide.”

Gembola explicitly does not provide a protocol for making good decisions, but does provide resources at the end for those who would like that. It does also seem aimed slightly more at young adults, who are working thought some of the major decisions he discusses, however I think it has applicability for many.  decisions. He finishes with the encouragement of our goal:

“we aim to follow Christ with a humble confidence that leads to neither a deficit nor an excess of decisiveness. If we are rooted and grounded, we’ll be able to say no when we need to, and our yes will be meaningful and not only conflict avoidance. We’ll step out to love and serve neighbors. We’ll follow God’s calling and God’s will in our lives. And with these roots, we’ll be steady.”

This is a useful contribution to the Ask the Christian Counselor series. It’s a somewhat specific topic, but will be very helpful for those to whom it applies.

I was given an ecopy of this book in exchange for an honest review. 

Fight, Flight and Faith

Fight, Flight and Faith, Nikki Florence Thompson (Ark House Press, 2020)

I heard this book recommended on the Counsel Culture podcast and ordered it online sight unseen, after hearing Nikki speak about her experience of anxiety.

It was somewhat of a surprise when the book arrived and discovered that I knew several of the people who had endorsed it. Then, on starting to read it, I realised I knew who she was from many years ago, and part of the story she shared was one I was personally very familiar with.

Nikki has written a moving and poignant story of her struggle with anxiety over the last 20+ years, which developed after the accidental death of her older brother when she was 19.

This is not a theological exposition of anxiety, nor it is a treatment manual. Rather, this is a personal story that graciously invites the reader into her life and experience. We are allowed to see her journey in all its ups and downs, and in so doing, to witness her pain, challenges, and joys over the years. Her honesty is raw and open, as she shares her struggles through different seasons of grief, relationships, and fertility issues, and how anxiety continued to rear its head in various ways. Each time her own faith was stretched and matured.

The early part of the book is anchored around her brother Greg. It starts with early stories of their family and gives the background of a loving, stable home, with an older brother that Nikki adored and who had already matured beyond his years in his own faith. Their upper teenage years were the same as my own* - part of a robust, loving youth and young adults group that were on fire for Jesus in the 1990s. A time of coming to faith, of being challenged to wonder what it meant to live for Jesus, and a time of being surrounded with other young friends who were all asking the same questions. Many from those years have gone on to serve Christ in wonderfully various ways around the world. But as Nikki notes, they were the early days of heady faith, still absolutely real and true, yet not really tested by the trials of life to come: 

“I do not mean to say my faith then was not real. I believe with all my heart that it was. But it was also just the beginning. In the beginning my faith was a pure, secure space. Genuine, but tender. Grounded, but on untrodden ground. True, but untested. Encircling, but also enclosed. In the beginning my faith was safe. But, in many ways I didn't realise yet, it was also very, very small.” (p. 21)

Her retelling of the times prior to and after the accident were personally very moving to read and quickly recalled my own recollections of those years. For any reader, this will be a powerfully sad and moving story, I just found it additionally so because of the personal connection.

Nikki is honest about how anxiety started in those early months of grief, and how it impacted her.

“The truth was, anxiety didn't sit outside my relationship with God, as I suppose I expected or wanted it to. It came in there too. Anxiety … made me second-guess everything, until even my own faith felt uneasy… Was God the father in the Prodigal story, with his arms out stretched waiting to welcome me home again from the long distance I've travelled, or a disappointed parent, wagging his finger at me while I hung my head in shame? If I knew he was the first, I often felt he was the second." (p. 153)

Anxiety remained a recurring element over the years, and one she has learnt to manage through medication, good counselling and mental health care, as well as strong family and friend support, and a faith that God is with her through it all.

“The fact that anxiety is in the Bible is proof that it exists. Further, it is proof that God understands. (p. xviii)

“This isn’t a story about overcoming. But it is one about coming closer and drawing near. It is a story of becoming aware of a widened, expanded faith…This, then, is a book for anyone who shares a similar but particularly strong should voice in their ear; for anyone who thinks they ought to be better. (p. xix)

This book is beautifully written. Nikki has a PhD in Literature, and it shows. Her phrasing is wonderful, the way she weaves words together adds to the richness of the whole story. So, while it is a sad story at points and I was moved to tears, it is also delightful to read and laden with creative expression. I really appreciated how she has gently woven the story of others into her own, most notably the support of her husband Mike, but also her parents, friends, and her health care professionals (e.g., the Wise Woman and the Wise Man).

This is highly recommended reading. As I said, it’s a story of anxiety, not a “how to manage it” guide. But those who live with anxiety and those who support them will likely find much here that helps them to sort through the platitudes that some have, and instead to help them rest in their Heavenly Father’s care, despite the challenges that he allows them to face:

“I like to think anxiety taught me to accept my humanity – to be humble and realistic in my humanness in this now-and-not-yet space – and to expand to see the Father’s embodied compassion and divinity, not as something I need to stretch to touch, but as always wrapped around me, coming down to meet me. Anxiety has opened my faith-eyes to see him more clearly.” (p.218)

*I was also a friend of Greg’s. Not on the “inner circle” as it were, but more part of the main group.

A Small Book for the Anxious Heart

A Small Book for the Anxious Heart, Edward T. Welch

Edward Welch has followed up his small meditative book on anger with this one on anxiety, A Small Book for the Anxious Heart: Meditations on Fear, Worry and Trust.

Many of my comments about that book also apply to this one, so feel free to go back to that review.

Each short chapter is 2-3 pages, and as such it’s a primer for hearts that worry. It will start to address the issues you face, and where your heart is in it, but it won’t be extensive. Some chapters are to prompt further thought, some are explicit biblical teaching, and some are challenges to your own behaviour. There was no clear order that I could determine, it meanders through topics and seems to double back to things. Yet this works for many. I strongly prefer a clear structure, but not everyone does. And with the format used, it needs to and does have continual grace, teaching and challenge scattered throughout.

He notes:

“The aim of this book is to help us become more skillful in how we identify our fears and anxieties, hear God’s good words, and grow. You could say that our goal is wisdom. Wisdom is another name for skill in living.”

He wisely observes at several points that this wisdom takes time, anxiety works now. Change is slow and gradual, but worries are now and immediate.

Some comments that I found helpful:

“The dilemma is that worries tell you to take matters into your own hands, but that message needs to be altered to say, “What a perfect opportunity to trust the God who is strong, loving, and faithful.” 

“Faith in Jesus will not replace your fears. Instead your faith will coexist with your fears and begin to quiet them. You will learn, by faith, to see your life from Jesus’s perspective and to trust that he is your ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).”

Regarding the power of prayer:

“Left to myself I spin out doomsday scenarios, hoping that my frenetic mind will stumble into some answers. But when I go to my heavenly Father and tell him my worries, when I remember his words to me (an ever-present help in trouble), and when I thank him for his care, the peace of Christ does begin to rule my heart and mind. It’s a miracle that still takes me by surprise.”

Comments about worrying about death and the future:

“In response, we remember that today has enough troubles of its own, and we live in the grace that the Lord liberally gives us today. Don’t try to imagine a diagnosis of cancer. You do not yet have tomorrow’s grace, so your imagination will tell an incomplete story of the future. If you are going to venture out into the future, continue far enough out so that the story ends with you welcomed into heaven for an eternity of no more sorrow, tears, and fears (Revelation 21:4)”

Overall, it’s a helpful way for someone facing worries and challenges to come before God regularly for a period of time to consider the promises of God and what it means to work through anxieties and cast our worries on the Lord. As habits are formed by daily repetition, this could help someone with worries and fears to daily stop, and consider God’s place in their worries. However, this is probably not a book for someone with chronic anxiety, at least not on their own.

Because it's really only a simple treatment, some readers will be left wanting. For example, Day 6 notes that your past can shape your present worries. This is a pretty light approach to dealing with potentially major issues, with the only answer seeming to be ‘go to Jesus more’. Many people need much more help with their past than this.

As with his book on anger, there were reflection questions at the end of each chapter to prompt further thought, which is a helpful place to leave people - if they make the effort to use it. I would have loved to see more suggestions for prayer for many chapters would have naturally led to thanksgiving or confession, and actively encouraging that response would have been beneficial.

A book of little reflections that those struggling with worries and anxieties may well find helpful.

I was given an ecopy of this book in exchange for an honest review. 

Another comment on anxiety (ch 8)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 8 - Anxiety and Frustration

After posting about this chapter on Friday - a good friend raised an important issue regarding anxiety:

What about the person who suffers from severe and debilitating anxiety? Anxiety is a medical condition. It is very unhelpful to suggest that it is a sin.

I see exactly what this person means, and I am ashamed to admit that this issue did not cross my mind as I read the chapter and subsequently wrote the post. For someone who struggles with severe anxiety, which is also often closely linked with depression, adding more guilt by labelling their situation as sinful is unhelpful at best and ungodly at worst. If I offended anyone by my comments on this chapter, I sincerely apologise - I do not want to add to the burdens you already feel.

Having re-read the chapter again, my suspicion is that Bridges is not suggesting this either - but I do think that it would have been helpful to distinguish between general anxiety (that many people feel at various times) and anxiety disorders. I feel certain he is talking about general anxiety. However, I agree with my friend - it would have been helpful for that to have been clearer.

An article downloaded from the Beyond Blue website includes some of the following information on anxiety:

What is an anxiety disorder?
We all feel anxious from time to time however, for some people, these anxious feelings are overwhelming and cannot be brought under control easily. An anxiety disorder is more than just feeling stressed – it’s a serious condition that makes it hard for the person to cope from day to day.

How common are anxiety disorders?
Anxiety disorders are very common. One in four people will experience an anxiety disorder at some stage in their lives.

Types of anxiety disorders
There is a range of anxiety disorders. The six most common disorders are:
1. Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) which involves the person feeling anxious and worried on most days over six months or more.
2. Specific Phobia
3. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
4. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
5. Panic Disorder
6. Social Phobia.

Anxiety disorders are common, but the sooner you get help, the sooner you can learn to control these conditions, so they don’t control you.

Summarised from Anxiety Disorders Information card, downloadable from this link.

If you are someone who is struggling with a level of anxiety that affects your daily life, there are a number of places to go to start to get help:

• Beyond Blue Website - anxiety link
• Reach Out website - aimed at 14-25 year olds
• ABC Health and Wellbeing Website - Anxiety Disorders Fact File

All of these sites have some guidelines to help diagnose anxiety disorders - but you should also see a doctor.


I really welcome comments that point out areas that I have missed or been unhelpful. Thanks.

Respectable Sins - Anxiety & Frustration (Ch 8)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 8 - Anxiety and Frustration

In this chapter Bridges addresses both anxiety and frustration.

Bridges states that anxiety is sin for two reasons:

1. It is a distrust of God. "If I give way to anxiety, I am, in effect, believing that God does not care for me and that He will not take care of me in the particular circumstance that triggers my anxiety of the moment" (p64)

2. It is a lack of acceptance of God's providence in our lives, "we tend to focus on the immediate causes of our anxiety rather than remembering that those immediate causes are under the sovereign control of God." (p64)

He says that we should pray about the situations that cause us anxiety:

it is appropriate to pray for relief and for deliverance from whatever circumstance is triggering our anxiety, but we should always do so with an attitude of acceptance of whatever God's providential will may be and a confidence that, whatever the outcome, God's will is better than our plans or desires (p67)

Bridges briefly looks at worry as well, categorising "worry with more long-term difficult or painful circumstances for which there appear to be no resolution" (p67). His method is still the same though, trust in God and his providential care.

His treatment of frustration is similarly brief, "frustration usually involves being upset or even angry and whatever or whoever is blocking our plans" (p69).

I must say I found this chapter a little too simplistic. Most of the examples in it (eg. planes running late and computers not printing) were a little trite and they downplayed the serious worries, anxieties and frustrations that some people face (although he did refer to one serious type of worry - the long-term care of disabled children).

He finished the chapter with this:

Both anxiety and frustration are sins. They are not to be taken lightly or brushed off as common reactions we have to difficult events in a fallen world. Can you picture Jesus ever being anxious or frustrated? And whatever in our lives is not like Jesus is sin. (p70)

As I read this, I thought - yes, I think they are situations where we see Jesus anxious or frustrated. Surely in the garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus prayed 'for this cup to be taken from me', there is anxiety about what he know he is about to face. He does rely on God's will ('yet not my will, but yours') - however, he was certainly intensely troubled about what he was about to face. (interestingly Bridges did refer to this and Jesus' being anxious on p67, so in some ways has contradicted himself anyway). And there are times when Jesus seems frustrated at people's lack of faith or understanding (Luke 9:41 "O unbelieving and perverse generation,"Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you and put up with you?").

I guess in the end what matters is our response to things, and mostly our responses of anxiety and frustration are because we are not in control of everything and we would really prefer to be so. Even if I found the chapter a little simplistic, I don't think Bridges is giving a simplistic solution. He is right in saying that in all areas of our lives, we must turn to God in prayer and through his word and be willing to let him work according to his will.

And for those of us for whom anxiety is a prominent feature of our personality (and it certainly can be mine), I think it is helpful to ask ourselves why we are anxious: Is it because we want to be in control? Do we not really trust God and his will? Why not? We don't want to be too simple in a statement of "Let go and let God", however for many of us who struggle with anxiety, we probably need to go further towards that sentiment than we have been previously willing to do so.

Some bible verses to remember:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7) *

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Phil 4:6) *

So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:31-34)

Some things to think about:
1. What causes anxiety and/or frustration for you?
2. Will you pray to God about these things and allow him to work them out according to his will?
3. Can you trust him enough to do so? What prevents you from trusting God?



On Monday: Chapter 9 - Discontentment.


Later note: Please look here to see some further notes regarding anxiety made after this post.


* these will be the two I will try to learn from this chapter