Star Wars: The Force Awakens

We arrived at the movies with a fair bit of expectation for this one.  My sister and I grew up on Episodes 4, 5 & 6 and could probably recite all the dialogue along with each, and as I said December I tend to have an emotional reaction to the music.  Episodes 1, 2 & 3 were seen, but quickly forgotten and ignored.  I managed to hear & know nothing about it beforehand, except seeing the trailers, which was exactly as I planned!

If you are a fan of Episodes 4, 5 & 6, you will like The Force Awakens.  It harkens back to the originals, with similar humour, concepts and characters.  It is surprising at points how much the story echoes episode 4.  The opening scenes with the scrolling words of explanation, the stirring music score and scenes of large spaceships remind you that going back to the past is the future for the Star Wars franchise.

I was very pleased to see Harrison Ford again as Han Solo, in a major role.   Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) and Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) are also briefly present.  With reprises also by Chewbacca, R2D2, C3PO and the Millennium Falcon, there is much appeal and crossover for long term fans.  Wisely accepting that time has passed for the actors, the story is set some 20-30 years later, the Force has been forgotten and the Empire is on the rise again in a new form, called The First Order.

The new character we meet include a young woman desert scavenger Rey who comes across a wandering droid with the key to Luke’s whereabouts; Finn, an unwilling and soon renegade Stormtrooper; and the new acolyte of the Dark Side, Kylo Ren, following in the footsteps of Darth Vader.

I wonder if part of the appeal with Star Wars has been that there is always had a clear distinction between good and evil – the dark and the light – and this time it is interesting to hear Leia says things like “I know there is still light in him”.  The ruler of the First Order in Supreme Leader and in scenes reminiscent of Hitler and the Third Reich, all the stormtroopers line up to pay homage to their first commander.

All in all, for existing fans, a great movie and a great reminder of why you loved the first movies.  It’s also entirely possible that a whole new generation of fans will enjoy them too, although I suspect they aren’t likely to be newcomers to the franchise, but rather the children of previous fans – our older two were keen to see it too.

Wild Things

Wild Things: the art of nurturing boys, Stephen James and David Thomas

I love it when friends recommend books, I get my hands on something I know others have already liked and find out about books I might not have otherwise found.   This book on nurturing boys is exactly that – a little treasure waiting to be discovered.

I seem to return to these types of books every few years, and of course, they are relevant in completely different ways each time.  I will admit there is now a fair amount of joy on my part in skipping over the first 2-3 developmental stages of children in a book (or only skim reading them), knowing we have already passed them by!

Divided into three parts, James & Thomas explore the Way of a Boy, the Mind of a Boy and the Heart of a Boy.

In Part 1: The Way of a Boy they outline their 5 stages of a boy: explorer (age 2-4), lover (5-8), individual (9-12), wanderer (13-17) and warrior (18-22).  All of these made sense, although I could never remember the terms throughout the book and had to keep having to check back to see which stage they were talking about.   I do sometimes wish people would use boring but self explanatory terms (eg, pre-schooler, primary schooler, etc!).  Each chapter deals with the main issues are in that stage, what a boy needs at that stage, and some practical ideas.  So for the teenage years, the key questions they are asking are: Am I loved? and Can I get my own way?  The defining features of this stage are physiological chaos, arrogance, individuation and argumentativeness.  What they need is support through other voices (not just parents), outlets for energy, understanding and boundaries.   Helpful and practical.

Part 2 has 5 chapters dealing with boys’ brains: how they work and their potential strengths and weaknesses, different learning styles and boys within the education system.  This was a helpful section, although I did find myself thinking that not all boys would fit into the scenarios mentioned here and some people might take issue with the gender stereotypes portrayed.  Although realistically most parents of boys and girls are rarely surprised that such stereotypes exist – they see them lived out on a daily basis.

I thought Part 3 was the strongest: the Heart of a Boy.  Idea on how to know your son, draw him out, how to engage with his dreams, help him with his ambivalence and help him to answer the big questions he will ask:  Do I matter?  Do I have what it takes?  Can I really be a man?  There were very good chapters on the role of a mother and a father, and how each have crucial parts to play, which were followed with the importance of marking key moments and rites of passage, something we recently did in our family. 

All in all, a very helpful book for those who parent sons or care for boys.   I was encouraged, given good ideas and things to work on.  That makes a parenting book a winner in my opinion!

Sons & Dads - primary school graduation

We kick off the year with a post written by Husband about a great event he and some other dads ran for their sons at the end of last year:

With Mr 12 reaching the end of primary school (Year 7 in SA), we wanted to celebrate his graduation and passing through this significant rite of passage. Although the school has its usual ceremonies, we were especially keen to mark this important occasion from a Christian perspective. I was particularly challenged by a fantastic book Raising A Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis to make the most of the special opportunities to help boys become men of faith.

Mr 12 has been very fortunate in that he has 6 close Christian friends with whom he has grown up, crossing paths at Christian camps and socially.  And so in August 2015 I asked the Dads if they would be interested in joining us to make a wonderful celebration for our sons.

After we met together to dream and scheme, we came up with the following program for the first Friday after school finished - designed to be both fun and profound:

1. In late November each boy received a formal invitation by mail.

2. The afternoon began with some fun activities - our initial plan was to play some "Dads vs Sons" sport at the local school (basketball, cricket) - but when a notorious Adelaide heatwave set in we decided that 40 degree heat would not be wise for the health of middle-aged men! So we went bowling and had a great time (for the record the Dads DID win!)

3. We then came back to our place for a swim and a BBQ, and general relaxing (Wendy and Miss 10 & 8 graciously absented themselves for this "men only" event!). After dinner, we had the more "formal" part of the evening, in 3 stages:

i. Each father had brought a baby photo of himself and of his son, and we tried to guess which family was pictured! (in our case, we were the only Asian family, so that made it a bit easier ...)

ii. Each father then spoke for a few minutes on the topic of "why I'm thankful to God for my son", by means of publicly praising and encouraging our own sons in front of their peers.

iii. Each father then spoke for a few minutes to the boys, giving them a piece of advice about the next stage of life connected with a bible passage, and a memento/token to help them remember the advice. They were also given a box to keep all their goodies ... 

4. Finally there was more swimming, relaxing and of course, dessert!

Overall it was a wonderful occasion - it was so encouraging to hear all the dads speak of their thankfulness to God, and to offer similar encouragements (in different words) to our boys about how to stand firm for Jesus. By the time the night had finished our sons were already planning an event for next year ...

Thanks especially to our wives for supporting us!

PS: Mr 12 says: "I thought it was a really great time. It was a great opportunity to learn a lot, and to be encouraged in our faith in Jesus as we go onto high school. I especially liked the goodies we got to keep, which were all really well chosen. Thanks to the dads for organising this! And my Dad has had no influence over what I've just said!"

Mrs Frisby and the Rats of Nimh

Mrs Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, Robert C. O'Brien

I read this book myself as a child, and so was excited to find it still available for my kids.  Mr 12 enjoyed it on his own a few years ago (and still enjoys it), and I have just read it to Miss 8 & 10, who also swiftly became fans.

Mr Frisby, a widowed field mouse, lives on a farm with her 4 children.  Her son, Jonathon, falls ill and she seeks help for his safe recovery from another mouse, a crow and finally an owl, who suggests she see the rats and ask for their help.  All the animals on the farm know of the rats, but tend to avoid them.  Bravely facing her fears, she does as instructed and in time comes to hear the story of the rats themselves and how her own husband used to be one of their friends.

It is at a simple level a lovely story of intelligent animals working together and helping one another.  At a deeper level there are comments on laboratory testing and whether animals can be civilised.  Reading it again as an adult, I reflected how it truly represents a humanistic world view – that is  that people (or in this case, rats), when given the chance can develop into something better and become more civilised, more human, as it were.   Of course, this is completely at odds with the Christian view of the depravity of man, and our need for a saviour, rather than having the ability to save ourselves. Mr 12 and I had a brief conversation to that end. 

In the end though, it’s also just a lovely story.