Respectable Sins - Envy, Jealousy and Related Sins (Ch 18)

Respectable Sins, Jerry Bridges

Chapter 18 - Envy, Jealousy, and Related Sins

These ugly sins, which we all struggle with at times, are helpfully discussed in this chapter.

As for definitions:

Envy is the painful and oftentimes resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else. Sometimes we want that same advantage leading to the further sin of covetousness...Usually, there are two conditions that tempt us to envy. First, we tend to envy those with whom we most closely identify. Second, we tend to envy in them the areas we value most. (p149)

Jealousy is usually defined as intolerance of rivalry... Sinful jealousy occurs...when we are afraid someone is going to become equal or even superior to us. (p151)

Bridges does acknowledge that some forms of jealousy are acceptable - eg. God is a jealous God, wanting us to serve only Him. We are to be jealous for our spouses, and ensure no one else is trying to win them.

I wonder if is OK to be envious of piety?? Would it be OK to envy someone's commitment to bible reading or their prayer life? Perhaps only if such a thing forces us to look honestly at our own lives and then to be inspired to try harder? What do you think?

So then, what do we do with our sinful envy or jealousy?

1. Turn to the sovereignty of God. "We must remind ourselves that He determines not only what abilities we have but also the degree of those abilities and the blessing He will bestow on their use" (p152)
2. Remember that all believers are one body in Christ. We should be honouring and applauding those amongst who are doing well for we all all part of the one body.
3. When we are envious or jealous we lose sight of what God might be doing in our lives. "Admittedly, some assignments garner more human recognition than others, but all are important in the plan of God." (p153)

I would want to add to this, that we need to honestly and critically analyse the reason for our envy or jealousy.

• is it because we would like the status or recognition that someone else gets? We must remember that our status comes only though Jesus and his death for us. We are already saved by grace, why do we need any other status?
• is it because we would like to have the money that someone else has? Our true wealth comes from the price Jesus paid to save us, so why do we rely on wealth today for our assurance?*

Bridges does acknowledge that some forms of jealousy are acceptable - eg. God is a jealous God, wanting us to serve only Him. We are to be jealous for our spouses and ensure no one else is trying to win them.

I wonder if is OK to be envious of piety?? Would it be OK to envy someone's commitment to bible reading or their prayer life? Perhaps only if such a thing forces us to look honestly at our own lives and then to be inspired to try harder? What do you think?


Then, Bridges turns to two others areas which are related to these:

competitiveness - the urge to always win or be the top person in whatever our field of endeavor is...Competitiveness is basically an expression of selfishness. It's the urge to win at someone else's expense. It is certainly not loving our neighbor as ourselves.

His suggestion to this that instead of competing everyone should do their best, using passages such as Col 3:23 (Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men) to support it. He uses children as an example, so when we talk to them about competition we should not ask "Did we win?" but "Did we do our best?" I would want to take this one step further - I agree we should work at things to the best of our ability, but I would have liked to see this clarified as to what 'our best' is. Our best must be: in a loving way, being kind, gentle, honest, etc. Our best cannot only be to the best of our physical ability (for eg), but the best of our attitude and mindset as well.

Finally, he briefly addresses the sin of being controlling - seeking to control others to our advantage or to get what we want.


Some bible verses for ponder:

A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones. (Prov 14:30)

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James 3:14-16)

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming,
but who can stand before jealousy? (Prov 27:4)

Things to think about:

1. What are you envious or jealous of? Try to figure out what really drives your envy? Status? Money?
2. What will help you to throw off envy and jealousy and turn to God for your acceptance?
3. In what areas are you competitive?
4. Can you ask a trusted friend or family memeber how they feel you are going in these areas?
   

On Friday: Chapter 19 - Sins of the Tongue


* I have listening to some Tim Keller talks on Preaching to the Heart recently, he talks about these issues in some detail. Review to come in time!