Getting Over Yourself

Getting Over Yourself, Caroline Spencer (Matthias Media, 2024) 

Caroline Spencer has provided this helpful resource to encourage Christians to self-reflection. The purpose is not navel-gazing or rumination, but rather to become more like Christ and more effectively serve others:

“Self-reflection is a structured, deliberate, disciplined activity where a person aims to learn, change and grow as a result of past experience.” (p16)

The book was originally developed to teach self-reflection skills to theological college students. As such, it is certainly a tool that those in ministry would benefit from using personally. However, as Caroline notes, the application is much broader. All of us (and those around us) benefit from taking time to thoroughly examine how we think, feel and act, and then to consider how biblical principles lead to opportunities for growth. It could also be a useful tool in mentoring, discipling and coaching relationships.

The model is helpfully simple and easy to understand, with four main steps:

1. Describe what happened 
2. Explore what was going on for you 
3. Assess to identify opportunities for growth 
4. Enact by putting into practice. 

I appreciated the summary that parts 1 & 2 are about acquiring self-knowledge, whereas 3 & 4 are about moving towards self-regulation. Each step has different questions or aspects to consider in more depth, and they are further explained and illustrated using detailed examples, varying from ministry contexts to personal life and church settings. Caroline addresses the problems some may have with the concept of self-reflection: that it is selfish, self-help or scary, and deals with each graciously while encouraging a mindset that is keen to grow in godliness.

Blank worksheets that can be copied are generously included to fill out. A link is provided to download digital worksheets from the Matthias Media website, where you can also read the beginning of the book for free. There is also a guide for how to use it in a group setting. It’s a short book at <100 pages, and can easily be read in one sitting. Obviously, it would take more time to effectively and wisely apply it.

One almost throwaway comment was that while prayer is not included in the model, the assumption was that everything we do should be undergirded by prayer (p26). It led me to wonder if prayer could have been included in the model, or perhaps more attention given to the role of prayer over this process of intentional growth and change.

Overall, this helpful book provides a resource that will be of great benefit to those who make the effort to apply it.