To a better place...

The great chicken experiment has come to an end.

Almost a year to the day, we have drawn the curtains, end of the show, no more chickens here.

They truly have gone to a better place. Not a chicken pie factory. But rather a 1 acre property in the hills, where they can happily make friends with 3 other chooks in a lovely large pen, and free range to their hearts' content.

What have I learnt from the chicken experiment?

• if they get out (and one was truly an excellent escape artist), they will always destroy the one part of the garden you are trying to preserve
• they are very messy, being birds and all that
• they make a lot of noise, in the hope of getting either company or food.
  
• the eggs were lovely
  
• the major lesson: in a marriage, if one partner really and truly does not want something, and has expressed it, it is wise for the other partner (ie. me in this scenario), to listen and respect said opinion.

Hence, for family harmony and my own sanity, the chickens have gone.

Now I await the areas newly renovated transformation into a veggie patch.

I will miss the eggs though. We had our final weekly scrambled eggs for Sunday night dinner last night, using 10 eggs. Unlikely to happen as a weekly occurrence any more - can't imagine I'll actually buy 21 eggs per week!

Mr Rosenblum's List

Mr Rosenblum's List, Natasha Solomons

I grabbed this off Mum's shelf last time I was in Sydney - she's always a source of great books.

It's the story of Jack and Sadie Rosenblum, Jewish German immigrants to England before WWII. Jack decides to assimilate to the British life totally and completely, working from a list of all the dos and don'ts of a proper Englishman.

It was a nice little book. Very easy to read. Good holiday choice.

I have decided though that I really prefer long books; really long books; or even those that are part of a series of many long books. Once I like a character and a story, I want to keep reading about them. I think this is why I am often frustrated with average length novels - they just don't contain enough details. Any suggestions from other readers of sagas out there?

Running

I went in another fun run on Sunday.

The City-Bay again, although unlike last year's 6km, this time I attempted the 12kms. 

It was really hard.  

I don't really know why - I can run that distance, I have done it before.  But the rush of the day, all the people, the heat - who knows - I found it hard to run, hard to keep running and extremely hard not to stop.  My body has been sore for days.

Ah well, good to be humbled yet again.

(My offical time was 81:18, I had been hoping to beat 78, with a back up of 80 mins - oh well!)

Sarah Thornhill

Sarah Thornhill, Kate Grenville

I was delighted to discover that Kate Grenville, author of  The Secret River and The Lieutenant (both reviewed here), has just published the final in this loose trilogy, Sarah Thornhill.  

Sarah is the daughter of William Thornhill, the main character of The Secret River.  It is set some 20 years after the events of that book, and concentrates on Sarah and her life as she changes from a girl to a young woman.  Set in early settled New South Wales, it tells the story of love found and lost, then found again; with subplots covering the tensions in race relations (black, while and Maori) and family secrets.

Grenville has again drawn threads of her family history into the story (as she did for The Secret River), yet being told this time from a female perspective it adds another element.

Just this week I was lucky to go to a Get Reading Night, hosted by our local library, where Kate Grenville was the speaker.  It was very good and she spoke about how the story came from her searching through the family history, which then developed into this novel.

If you enjoy early colonial history novels or you have enjoyed Grenville's other work, you will definitely like this one.  

I should add - "3 cheers for libraries".  I read the review of this book in the paper 2 weeks ago, saying it was about to be released.  I reserved it at the library.  Two days later I had the book in my hands.   There would have been close to 200 people at the event the other night and I was only one of a handful who had read it.   Gotta love the library!!

What were you doing when?

There are some moments in life that you will always remember where you were and what you were doing when they happened.

Most of them are key personal moments:

- when your husband proposed

- when you went into labour with a child 

- when a loved one died

- perhaps when you got your Yr 12 exam results, or your first job

However, some are world events.  You will all know that today is 10 years since September 11, 2001, when the Twin Towers fell and the world changed. 

I suspect everyone who was an adult that day (and many who were younger) remember where they were and what they were doing.   We were had finished a DVD, and switched to the TV, and we saw from just after the first plane crashed.  We watched the second plane crash and the first tower come down. 

With heavy hearts, we decided not to keep watching, but to go to bed, after praying fervently to our saviour God. 

People of a previous generation will tell you that they all can remember where they were and what they were doing the day JFK was shot, and the day Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.  I can clearly remember the day Diana, Princess of Wales, died.   

What world events have been etched on your mind, so that you remember what you were doing then?

As I have read some of the articles and tributes this week about 9/11, what has struck me is that for my children, it is already history.  It's not part of their knowledge or world.  It's in the past.  They will study it, surely, and we will tell them about it, but for them it will be 'old news'.  Like JFK was for me, or the World Wars. 

Which world events will you tell your children about?

Daughters-in-Law

Daughters-in-Law, Joanna Trollope

I have heard of Joanna Trollope for years, but never read any of her books. This one was a good one to start with (I think it may be her most recent). Trollope has relayed very well the challenges of relating as adults in an extended family.

Daughters-in-Law tells of Rachel & Anthony, empty nesters with 3 adult sons, all married. Rachel has been a very involved mother, and is finding the reality of her sons' attentions and primary affections focused elsewhere hard to manage. While at times she behaves quite badly, you have sympathy for her and also for her sons and daughters-in-law as they navigate adult relationships with their parents.

I have known some very intense mothers-in-law over the years who have really struggled to 'hand over' their sons (not mine - she's lovely!) and it seems to be a common feature that many women really do not believe any daughter-in-law can truly be good enough for their son. This book portrays that tension very well, yet also lets us see how hard it can be for a mother (especially a full-time stay at home mum) to really let go and move into a different, more 'hands-off' stage of life.

Even though it's fiction, it might be helpful reading for some who find this mother-in-law / child-in-law relationship a little tricky - and, let's be serious - who doesn't sometimes?!



I ended getting some more Joanna Trollope books out of the library, I'll let you know what they are like too, and I am definitely planning to get The Rector's Wife!

The Household Guide to Dying

The Household Guide to Dying, Debra Adelaide

I have just finished this book, and it was wonderful.

Not the easiest topic to read about, but a fantastic book nonetheless. Delia Bennet is a wife, mother of 2 girls and author of many Household Guides (to the Laundry, to the Kitchen). When she reaches the stage of terminal cancer, she realises that the next book she writes will be her last:

After the second operation and the third diagnosis, as I resigned myself to the fact that the latest Household Guide I'd written would be my last... I conceived in a flash the best idea ever, I didn't have to abandon the Household Guides at all. I rang Nancy...

Think of the title, I said. How catchy does The Household Guide to Dying sound?

The novel runs two concurrent stories - one the final months of Delia's life in her home with her family as she writes her book and prepares for death; and the other as she travels to far North Queensland to farewell a previous life and tragedy that met her there.

A warning to anyone currently grieving a loved one, or facing death or cancer themselves - it may be just too confronting.

However, I have to say I loved the writing, the story was intriguing, and it really was an excellent read.

Catechism update

A month ago I shared some catechisms that we were considering using as a family. We were starting to teach them to the children and so I had adapted some simplified versions for children.

One month in and I have made some changes, so I thought I'd tell you about them as some readers were interested in the catechism idea also.

1. We have started working through Training Hearts, Teaching Minds, by Starr Meade (mentioned previously). She has created a set of weekly devotions around each question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism in Modern English.

We read it with Mr 8 and Miss 6 at the end of the day, and we are all enjoying it and learning lots. Each daily reading takes 5-10 mins to read and talk about, so it's very manageable.

To go alongside it, I have produced a document of just the questions and answers as she has them (in modern English), which is quite manageable. Mr 8's goal is to learn them as we go through - at the rate of 1 per week, he should be fine.


2. I realised my previous Family Catechism with all it's 146 questions was way too complicated for younger ones. Not only that it had some emphases I wasn't happy with. Maybe I am more Anglican than I thought!?

As we are going to work through Training Hearts, Teaching Minds with them all once they can handle it, they didn't need to get into all the details of the commandments, etc, at this stage.

However, I still like the idea and having started to learn some of it, I realised what they were capable of when the language was simpler and more familiar.

So in a burst of energy I have created a Simple Family Catechism. It is only 60 questions, and I think it represents some of the main things I want the kids to learn at this stage, keeping the general format of the Shorter Catechism as the guide.

I would love to know what you think of it.

No more needles

We have reached the end of childhood vaccinations in this house.

All those needles at 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 12 months, 18 months and 4 years are now completed.

Miss 4 had her last ones last week. I think the four year ones are the worst, because once they get one, they really know what is coming for the second one.

And for the first time of all of them, I cried too. Don't think it was nostalgia, but rather sympathy... some parts of childhood you are happy to complete.

Grief

Many of you will know or know of Nathan Tasker, singer songwriter. He and his wife Cassie recently lost their dear twin babies at 21 weeks. Nathan and Cassie have both blogged about their loss and grief, and Nathan did a recent radio interview on The Open House Program.

I don't refer to this to create spectators for their grief, but rather for those who have suffered similar griefs who might find it helpful. (And I have only chosen to do so, because they have decided to made their news public).

There are many couples who grieve the loss of their babies, and knowing that you are not alone can be a help along the way. In the radio interview, Nathan speaks of how the Christian community has helped them in these early weeks and how that has helped to sustain them, and how even though they do not understand why God has allowed this to happen, they continue to turn to him for answers and support.

We have known many people over the years who have lost babies. One friend told me (15 years after) that,

"It hurts like hell for 10 years, then it starts to ease."

When I mentioned this to others in similar situations, they have acknowledged such a statement to be true.

I say this, both for those who grieve - to know that it will hurt for a long time; and for those of us who support friends through such a loss - we need to be a support for the long haul.

***

For those looking for other personal journeys through such a time, Molly Piper's blog is well worth reading.

The Hiding Place

The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom with John and Elizabeth Sherill

This audiobook has accompanied me through 9.5 hours of exercise over the last few weeks. I loved every minute of it.

Many have already read The Hiding Place, but if you haven't - I highly recommend it. It is an autobiography by Corrie Ten Boom of her childhood and family life in Holland in the early 20th century, and then of the invasion of Holland by Germany in WWII. She and her family led the resistance movement in their town, including hiding many Jews in their home. Eventually, she and her sister (in their 50s) and her father (in his 80s) were arrested and imprisoned. She was later transferred to a German concentration camp.

It's a story with devastating power, about how humankind can be so sinful, and also so gracious. So cruel and so kind. But much more than that, it tells of a family's dependent reliance on God for all things, and their trust in him no matter what.

It's not an easy read (in terms of content), but one that all Christians should read, especially those who think history isn't worth bothering with.

Captain America

We were lucky enough to have a date night on Saturday night, thanks to Husband's mum visiting, so we went to dinner and a movie.

We saw Captain America - The First Avenger, another in a line of Marvel comics which have been turned into movies. We also saw Thor earlier this year. I really like them - I quite like blockbuster movies: all action but no gore, no swearing, mild romance, completely unrealistic, etc.

Thor was probably funnier, but Captain America was good too, and Hugo Weaving is a very good evil villain.

At the end there was a trailer for next year's movie - The Avengers, which brings the characters all together - so now we need to see Iron Man on DVD as well. We so rarely go to the movies, it's a nice treat when it happens - especially when we both actually want to see the movie.

Bring on the blockbuster, I say.

One-to-one bible reading

One-to-One Bible Reading, David Helm

This is an excellent little resource for those who would like to read the bible with someone but just don’t really know where to start. It is appropriate for any person you might meet with: non-Christian, new-Christian, or committed Christian.

Here are words from Helm we all need to hear:

the greatest hindrance to inviting someone to read one-to-one will be an unbiblical view that you are not ready for this. You will tell yourself you haven’t been properly trained, or simply don’t know enough about the bible to help another person along the way. In fact, you may even try to convince yourself that someone should be initiating reading the bible one-to-one with you, rather than you initiating it with another person. It’s a tempting thought.

But it’s also not true.

Any committed Christian is capable of initiating a good conversation on a biblical text. (p24, emphasis mine)

However, the truth is, many of us are just too scared to try. This book is what you need to give you some help. Part 1 covers the basics of what to do in one-to-one bible reading, why to do it and how to go about it.

Part 2 gives some methods on how to actually read the bible with someone, and some guidelines. He introduces both the Swedish method and the COMA method of bible reading, with the clearest explanations of both that I have read.

Then, comes the material that is invaluable for those starting out - there are suggested books of the bible (divided up into sections) for different people (non-Christians, new Christians, etc). There are whole sets of questions for different types of literature (gospels, OT narrative, prophetic, wisdom, epistles, etc). Then there is a set of 8 studies working through Marks’ gospel - perfect to start with an unbeliever. All of these are even reproduced again at the back of the book as photocopyable sheets. You can also download them.

I think this should be standard reading for all committed Christians, especially bible study leaders, youth group leaders, etc. Give them out this year as Christmas presents!

Not quite yet

I had a great interaction with a school mum today, which made me realise we are like-minded.

Today is Miss 4's birthday, and this mum (of a 5-yr old boy and 2-yr old twin boys) asked if she was turning 5? I said, no, 4.

She said in a resigned voice: "bugger".
(for non-Australian readers - this would be 'bummer' or 'shame', said with emphasis!)

I laughed out loud. It was such a classic response from a parent who is happy to see her kids get older and looks forward to them being school age. We had a good laugh about it. I realise I have a kindred spirit in her now!

A hint of spring

After a very cold and wet winter, it's lovely to see the beginnings of spring around the place. every year I am surprised by how early our almond tree blossoms, it started last weekend, with it's gorgeous white flowers:


And the beginnings of new leaves:


One week later, it is covered in new growth, and our backyard begins yet again to look less bare.

Also, my favourite trees in all Adelaide are blossoming - the pink ones (I have no idea what they are, someone could surely enlighten me?)


Spring is surely one of the best times in this city.

Boundaries with Kids

Boundaries with Kids, Dr Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

To date I have avoided the juggernaut that are the Boundaries books by Cloud and Townsend. However having realised it's a continuous bestseller and having read another book by them (Raising Great Kids: Parenting with Grace and Truth) some years ago - I thought it was time to give it a try.

I was pleasantly surprised. There is nothing particularly new in it and the concept of boundaries with children is definitely not one that is foreign to me as a parent. However, it was helpful in many ways.

The bulk of the book outlines 10 areas where children need to learn, these include: consequences, responsibility, respect, motivation, evaluation and honesty. All of these are couched in boundary language and it's all common sense stuff. If you were struggling to manage your children, either young or older, there would be lots in here that would be valuable. It also teaches parents how to manage themselves with their children - in essence, how to choose to be an in-control parent.

So, all in all, a helpful, sensible book from a Christian perspective. Another one to add to the growing collection!

Resource request

Blog readers - I am after a resource.

Do you know of any books dealing with the challenges of parenting with shared custody arrangements?

I would like something from a Christian perspective, especially if there is wisdom on managing shared parenting between a Christian and a non-Christian. However, if there is sensible material from a non-Christian perspective, that would be helpful too.

Feel free to either comment or send me an email.

Thanks.

Triple Zero Kid's Challenge

I came across a great website recently, thanks to our neighbourhood watch newsletter.

The emergency services across Australia have created a Triple Zero Website for children. It's a set of cartoon scenarios which require either police, fire, or ambulance help. It helps kids (kindy and primary schoolers) know what to do in an emergency.

I'm what I call a 'catastrophiser'. I tend to imagine the worst. So I have wondered what would happen if there was an emergency in the house - would the kids know what to do? I even used to wonder if you could ring 000 just to have a practice (but knew we better not).

This website shows kids what counts as an emergency, when to ring 000 and what to say. Even I found it helpful and when I had reason to call 000 for the fire department recently, I knew how the phone conversation would go and I was ready for it.

I think it has sunk in for the kids too, as after we played on the website, they created an emergency game outside, calling 000, asking for fire, or police or ambulance and explaining the situation to each other over the 'phone'.

That was time well spent online.

Reference from Chris's update

If you are clicking across from Chris's 10am newsletter this week, the reference for teaching doctrine to your children is this one: Teaching the Faith - resources.


(Apologies to readers not from my church - this post will make no sense!)

Teaching the faith - resources

On Monday I talked about using a catechism to teach our children the faith.

I have come across a book which helps us to do exactly that.

Training Hearts, Teaching Minds by Starr Meade is a book of family devotions based on the Shorter Catechism.

She has arranged 6 daily devotions around each of the 107 questions of the Shorter Catechism (which she has adapted into more modern, accessible language). If you do it with her timetable it will take 2 years. However, I imagine it's the type of resource you use in bits and pieces. Perhaps you decide the first 20 questions are your goal for this year, or something like that.

Because the language is so accessible, you could also make this version your 'family catechism' and learn one per week and talk about it at the same time. We may indeed switch to that at some point.

We have not started this book yet, but once we have a bit more of our family catechism under way - we will stop and work on some of them in detail for a while, possibly with just the older children. I'll let you know how we go!


Another resource, along the same line is Bruce Ware's Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God. Ware is professor of Christian Theology at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. When his daughters were young, he would sit with them at night and teach them the same material (yet simplified) that he he was teaching his students.

He has turned those times into this book. There are 3-4 pages per topic, covering topics (which are all broken into smaller sections) such as:

- God's word and who God is
- God as three in one
- God is creator and ruler of all
- our human nature and sin
- the person and work of Jesus Christ
- the Holy Spirit, etc, etc

It is essentially a doctrine course for children and youth. Having looked through it (although we haven't used it ourselves yet) - it seems appropriate to read and explain to primary-schoolers or perhaps something you could give to a teenager. My guess is that parents would learn a massive amount from reading it too! It looks like exactly what we learnt at bible college, but in much more manageable language.

Does anyone else know of any resources that help teach the faith to children?