Pre-schoolers

Things I have learnt about having pre-schoolers:

• always buy washable textas

• twistable crayons are so much better than plain crayons. They don’t break as easily and are less likely to be eaten.

• when you change the sheets, that very night someone will wet the bed or vomit in it

• never buy dark coloured sheets (eg. red or blue). They look lovely the first night, then they are constantly covered in a white sheen of dried snot and saliva.

• expect the batteries of annoying, noisy toys to last for years

• openly admit that when the batteries of said toys run out, you will not replace them

• only grandparents & people who secretly want to torture you will give noisy toys to your children (unless you are like me and for some reason a ‘musical kit’ seemed like a great Christmas present for your 3-year old son, by Boxing Day you realised the error of your ways)

• invest in a heavy, stable sticky-tape dispenser and a heavy-duty pencil sharpener that attaches to a desk

• make sure any ‘dress up’ outfits can be put on & taken off by the child on her own. When you dress her up as Supergirl for the 30th time in one day, you’ll know why! This also prevents toilet accidents when they can’t get them off fast enough

• a child that always undoes the zipper on her jumper/jacket/sleepsuit can be stymied by a child-safe safety pin.

• a 2-year old can be taught the difference between a '6' (or '5'!) and a '7' on a digital clock, especially if you cover up the last two numbers. With persistence, said 2-year old can learn to stay in their room until they can see the '7'.

• small wounds can be healed with a kiss or rub

• baby wipes can clean almost anything – on a child and around the house

• until you are 2, the wrapping is more fun that the present itself. This principle can be extended to almost age 6 if the wrapping is bubble wrap. So, how about a wrapped present of bubble wrap?

• you can re-gift presents amongst your children, so the play gym loved by #1, can be hidden one month before Christmas, wrapped up and given to #2 with no-one the wiser (especially the recipient). It’s harder to convince the older child though, and when they announce around the Christmas tree “That’s my bike!” – you must to be quick with the explanation “And now it is #2’s bike”. If well managed, the re-gifting of presents can last years, leaving everyone feeling loved and well-provided for, but with your home never actually accumulating more things.

And more seriously:

• remember – you know your child best

• trust yourself

• have fun with them – they really are very cute at this age.